little things

It’s the little things that keep me going.

v Being able to sew all weekend long.

v My sweet husband’s hug when I get home from work.

v KC inviting us to dinner.

v Hearing about my goddaughter’s teenage life.

v Making 2 fresh cookies each and enjoying them with my sweet husband while we listen to the rain.

v Being able to tell my godchildren that I love them.

v The adorable innocence and grin of a 6-year-old boy as he replies, “I love you more.”

…may there be mercy and lots of little things.

feeling yukky

…am sick…

…need sleep…

…may there be mercy on my pitiful self.

high and dry

After driving home tonight, which does entail crossing the bridge over our flood-stage river, I am once again so very happy my home is on the hill.

Sandbaggers worked hard and got the downtown area as protected as it's gonna be. The river should crest tonight, they say around 10 p.m.

Tomorrow it will be interesting to see how much water is "out" of the river. I'm hoping that it isn't much more than already has happened.

...may there be mercy on our community.

night before flood

The river is going to flood tomorrow. The predictions are that it will be pretty bad. The next 48 hours will be hard on everyone here.

My home is safe, which is good... but we have friends who live in the flood zone.

Sandbaggers are working through the night to try to protect what can be protected. How I wish my health allowed me to help them.

...may there be mercy on our community.

feeling funky

Right now it feels like I live in Crabbyland.

I’m doing all I can to get out of it, but I’m in a major funk. Too much pressure at work, issues at church, hoping my sweet husband will get called for an interview with a particular company, body not being completely recovered from surgery and post-surgery fall, sister in an abusive marriage, still dealing with grief issues as a family, continued sleep/health issues, Mama is going to be laid off soon and financially she needs her job, two brothers about to have surgery, …

… I could go on but it just makes the funk worse.

And yet, I function in the normal day-to-day world as if there isn’t anything going on. As if every single detail of my life is just fine. Nothing is getting to me.

Or if it shows a little, I blame all the crabbiness on lack of sleep. And we all laugh because everyone understands being tired equals being crabby.

For those of you who tend to fret, don’t. (pray instead!) I’ll be okay. I’m a little stuck right now, but I do NOT plan on staying here permanently.

I’m thinkin’ that the myriad number of big things and the massive number of small things that have happened since December 15^th have finally hit that over-saturation point for me. It will take a bit of time to get back to a more normal, cheerful self.

Hoping that my upcoming vacation time will be a big boost for that. I always take the week after Thanksgiving off since it gives me an extra bonus of time that way.

Three weeks from today, I’ll be on vacation. Not sure yet exactly what that will be or if we will go anywhere… but looking forward to 11 days of rest… and missing the end of month chaos for November.

…may there be mercy on my funky self.

a day for me

I'm glad I've scheduled tomorrow as a vacation day. Current plan, at almost 10 p.m., is to sleep a LOT, sew, read books and watch movies. Mostly just a very lazy day. Partially a hide out day. And partially a mental health day.

No matter what it is, it's going to be good for me.

...may there be mercy on the rest, the lazy, the hiding out and everything.

too, too, too

…too busy…

…too tired…

…too crabby…

…too headache-y…

…may there be mercy on my “too-too’s”.

great weekend

Quilting retreat was a blast! Much laughter, much conversation, much pampering, much good food... and much productive quilting time. Yay!

I did get FIL's quilt top done, with the exception of the border. Once I got it to that point, I decided that the fabric I'd chosen for the border just did not look right and would not work. It was too busy. So I stopped there and worked on another project.

Missed this wonderful man who happend to be my sweet husband. Need to spend some time with him now.

It's good to be home.

...may there be mercy on us tonight.

packed and ready

In spite of the fact that fabric lines the walls and is stacked on my cutting table, there is an empty space in my sewing room and it looks funny to me.

I've packed up to take everything to the quilting retreat at my friend's beach house.

Sewing machine... check!
Cutting mat and rotary cutter... check!
6 sizes of Omnigrid rulers... check!
components to FIL's quilt... check!
extra thread, bobbins, notions, etc... check!
book with pattern in it... check!
extra fabric... check!
iron and ironing board... check!
new camera... check!
clothing, jammies, toothbrush... check!
corkscrew and a bottle of wine... check!

I'm good to go and excited that I'll be able to dedicate the entire weekend to quilting. Even better, someone else cooks and cleans up for us... and the someone who does all the work is my mentor, spiritual mom and very dear friend. Extra cool that I'll get to spend some time with her.

... may there be mercy as we travel and enjoy a little pampering as we quilt.

a quilt for father-in-law

Been busy cutting out the pieces for a quilt for my wonderful father-in-law. And already I'm very pleased with how this one is going to turn out.

My father-in-law, or FIL, is an amazing man. He has taught me much over the years, and I'm certain he has no idea how much I've learned from him.

Mostly I've learned about how to truly love someone who has become very unlovely. (I still hate Alzheimers.)

But I've also learned a lot about how to enjoy what I have... about generosity... about joy in small things... about perseverance... contentment... planning for what I will do in 20 years, even if I was over 80 years old... staying young no matter my age... learning something all the time...oh, how the list can go on!

Last year, FIL gave me this very cool quilting, sewing and embroidery machine. And then I exploded into the world of quilts, quickly falling headlong into a love affair with fabric and stitching that will last me the rest of my life. And FIL has been encouraging me every step of the way. He praises my every effort and rejoices for the person who will receive the current "masterpiece".

It's time he got to be the recipient.

I've been planning this all year, but only found the pattern I liked enough to make for his quilt a few weeks ago. Found it while I still could not quilt and had my wrist in that splint. Didn't matter that I could not actually do the work at that time, the picture zinged in my head and screamed, "make this one for FIL!!!"

So... fabric has been chosen and cut. I've started sewing pieces together. And thankfully there is a quilting retreat this weekend so I can get it done fast. Hiding my projects from him is hard!

...may there be mercy and he get to enjoy this quilt for a long time.

needs, wants, quilting and camera

Weekends fly by too quickly for me. There is just too much I need to do that interferes with what I want to do.

It’s that whole need vs. want thing cropping up again.

I need to get my house more in order. I want to spend all my non-work time quilting or playing with my new camera. Hmmmm… wonder which one is getting done?

Hahahahahahahahaha! Quilting and camera, of course!

And need vs. want is a topic for another day.

Friday was a very hard day covering that other desk. It wasn’t supposed to be too bad at this time of month, but it was. Glad I don’t have to cover that one for another couple weeks… and hoping that day isn’t equally as bad!

Yesterday I slept until 9… which was very good for me. I soooo needed that! Dinked around the whole morning while my sweet husband was at work. We had arranged to have him come home for lunch if the work was going to last long enough to require a lunch period. It did. Yikes! When he called to let me know, I hadn’t even gotten a shower or out of my jammies yet!

Race to start his lunch, jump in the shower while it was doing the beginning of cooking, throw on clothes, (no makeup or drying hair!) set the table, finish cooking lunch… he walks in the door. Enjoy lunch; send him back to work and start quilting for a while.

After he finished work, we ran a couple errands and went to a waterfront park up in Bellingham. Very cool… fun place for playing with my new camera!

Of course we had chosen that spot because it was on the way to our friends home where we were going to have dinner.

Lovely dinner with great conversation, wonderful food and wine… and just enjoying a long-term relationship.

Today was a good day.

With all our running around the last few weeks, we haven’t been to church for a few Sundays. Sermon was on a good topic and held my interest well. Been thinking on that one all day.

And it was really good to see my friend, having enough time to really visit over lunch after worshipping together. (Thanks sen5ei, for taking the time to drive up here so we could enjoy such a great time.)

And yes, I’ve quilted this afternoon. Another step in the process of the 36 placemats I need to complete for Christmas gifts… and all the fabrics chosen for a quilt for my amazing father-in-law.

Actually, his gift is the only one that really matters to me if it gets completed in time for Christmas. Anything else can be late.

This week… overtime, of course. Hoping to join a Quilting Retreat on Friday that will be already in process. It’s another group that I do not know the women, but it just might work out for me and KC to join them for the weekend. We’ll see. If so, I’ll spend the entire time working on my father-in-law’s quilt… and hoping I get it done!

Nothing terribly interesting in all that, just a quick synopsis of the last few days.

I still need to work on my house. But I want to quilt.

…may there be mercy as my needs are met… and a little of my wants, too.

a little overload, a bit of random

At this point, I'm overloaded and cannot wait for the weekend to arrive. Tomorrow I've got to cover a desk that I do not enjoy at all... but I'm the only person in the office that knows how to back up this particular job. Ugh! So my own desk gets a little more behind.

Thankfully my Q-friend has kept me sane most days with funny email conversations about our day-to-day stuff. Thanks Q-friend. You rock.

Saturday I'm sleeping until I cannot sleep another minute. Then I'll do some house cleaning, but I am soooo setting a timer. Noon hits, I'm eating lunch and spend the entire afternoon quilting.

Sunday will be a time of refreshment with church and brunch with a friend. We do not get nearly enough time together, so it will be good for me. I will totally enjoy conversation and down time with her.

At some point this weekend, I'm going to take my new toy... a new camera that was a gift from my sweet father-in-law... out for a REAL test drive.

Waaaaay cool.

Have I mentioned that I adore my father-in-law? I would adore him even if he didn't give me lovely gifts. He just happens to consider me one of his kids, so he includes me when he gives lovely gifts to his biological children.

It's fun for me and I know he enjoys spoiling us all a bit.

Last weekend was very cool. Spending time with our friends, their son and his new bride was a blast. It's very funny, but the new bride has many of my attributes. I took it as a great compliment that he admired some things about me and wanted them in his bride.

Hoping for good sleep tonight. I've been on the edge of tears all day and no real reason for it that I can think of... just a bit of an emotional mess right now.

Too much happening here... and too much that needs to happen here that I don't have time to accomplish.

Tonight's mercy is a repeat for Jenna... because sometimes it's just what we need, eh? Definitely calling her for a long overdue coffee time soon.

...may there be mercy on my random stuff.

yep, did that

This morning, I woke up and wished Daddy a happy birthday. It's a tradition with me even though he's been gone for 11 years. I still wish him a happy birthday, telling him that we'll celebrate together someday in heaven. Then I go about my day and I'm fine.

Got very busy in my workday today. I'm back to working overtime again. Yeah, I know, take the splint off and I go back into full-speed-ahead mode. Can't be helped, I've got clients calling every day wondering where their policies are. Gotta get a little caught up.

So I'm in my day, working hard at this getting caught up thing. Feeling like I'm starving since breakfast was at 5:30 a.m. instead of 7. Grab a snack. Work more. Grab another snack. Work more. Eat lunch at desk. Work more.

Actual lunchtime came and I went for retail therapy.

Now the problem with retail therapy is that sometimes I end up at places like Target where they have a candy aisle in addition to anything else that I might need... like lipstick and makeup remover.

And those Hot Tamales just jumped right into my basket, whimpering for me to take 'em back to work with me. I swear they did. The popcorn did, too.

Yep, I ended up on a full-fledged eating binge today. It took me until 4 p.m. to realize that I was eating every treat thing that Daddy loved... guess I missed him more today than I realized when I got up and wished him a happy birthday this morning.

I'm not going to beat myself up over this because it isn't my normal pattern. Yes, I struggle daily with maintaining the 50 pounds I lost on Weight Watchers. Some days are easier than others. But normal days I don't eat everything in sight and more.

So this is for the unofficial record... yep, did it... comforted myself with things Daddy and I enjoyed together... will face what the scale has to say in the morning and accept that... and moving on to tomorrow now.

Tomorrow we head to Portland to see our friends, their son and his new bride. It will be a first time meeting with the bride... and we will go winery touring together. Should be a fun weekend.

...may there be mercy as we travel.

mine, all mine

Doc gave me the go-ahead to remove the splint today... yay! My wrist is mine, all mine again! I've got permission to use as I will, but if I hurt, I've got to wear the splint again. Not a chance!

I've got 36 placemats, 1 twin-sized quilt and at least 6 other quilting projects to complete for Christmas. Can't do all that if I have my wrist back in that splint.

So I'm going about my business and will be setting timers so that I don't overdo any single task and re-injure this wrist.

Sadly, I'm just too tired tonight to quilt. Combination of end-of-month exhaustion from work and the exhaustion that comes from another sleepless night due to a series of "private summers".

Whoever said that hot flashes are "power surges" was full of crap. There just ain't no power surging anywhere close to these suckers!

...may there be mercy and rest for this weary household - and no re-injuring!

mercy

As you have seen, most times I post a blog it ends with "may there be mercy." And obviously I don't usually remember to mention the mercy given. My fault on that - many, many times mercy is given that I acknowledge privately in my prayers and not here publicly... but really should.

So tonight I'm taking just a quick moment to mention that there was mercy this weekend - refreshment granted with those simple joys, a banishment of the crabbies....

... and a safe arrival home in spite of another driver who changed lanes too close to me... coming within very slight inches of my back bumper... 70 mph and a little over full speed on the freeway... just about 50 feet before my home exit. I'm still wondering exactly how the driver missed me.

But I am grateful for that extra mercy.

...may I see and recognize the mercy given each day.

weekend!

For whatever reasons, and there are a lot of them, I've been terribly crabby all week. But I'm putting all that behind me and planning to just enjoy the weekend. Simple plans for simple pleasures.

This morning meeting a friend for coffee, followed by a manicure and pedicure at the local beauty school.

Company picnic this afternoon, catered by a great BBQ place.

A movie, a glass of wine and snuggle time with my sweet husband this evening.

Tomorrow is a drive to a little town just north of Olympia to meet with dear friends. It's the halfway point between the northernmost and southernmost persons meeting. We haven't had an opportunity to be together for quite a while, and so much has happened in each of our lives. Loss, health issues, kid issues, family stuff, work stuff, general stuff, fun stuff, etc., etc.

We have a lot of talking, catching up and laughing to do. Not to mention squealing and hugging!

Simple plans, simple pleasures... and a booting out of the crabbies.

...may there be mercy and refreshment with simple joys.

grousing

I'm crabby and I want to take this splint off so that I can quilt.

...may there be mercy and the healing time finish quickly.

chasing trains

In case you haven’t noticed, steam trains are a passion around our house. My sweet husband was clued into the love of trains at his 4^th Christmas when Santa, in the form of his grandmother, gave him his first Lionel Train set.

The love affair with trains has not ended… and never will.

Of course my husband has his favorites among the steam engines. And the Southern Pacific Daylight #4449 is his all-time favorite.

Southern Pacific #4449
Built in 1941 as a 4-8-4 GS-4 "Northern" type locomotive, she is 110' long, 10' wide and 16' tall. With locomotive and tender weighing 433 tons and a boiler pressure of 300 psi, her eight 80" diameter drivers and unique firebox truck booster can apply 5,500 horsepower to the rails and exceed 100 mph. Retired to Oaks Park in 1958 for display only, in 1974 she was completely restored specifically to pull the 1976 Bicentennial Freedom Train throughout the United States to the delight of over 30 million people.

The only remaining operable "streamlined" steam locomotive of the Art Deco era, this grand Lady of the High Iron pulled Southern Pacific "Daylight" coaches from Los Angeles to San Francisco over the scenic Coast Route and then on to Portland until 1955. She is arguably one of the most beautiful locomotives ever built -- and kept that way by the all-volunteer Friends of the SP 4449.

(excerpt from the Oregon Rail Heritage Foundation website http://www.orhf.org/)

This last weekend, we put 1025 miles on our car - chasing the 4449 all over the Columbia Gorge and down into Bend, Oregon. I’m absolutely beyond exhausted today, and will pay for it trying to recoup my energy levels over the next week, but it was a blast!

It was a rare and very cool event, the 4449 on the rails. (www.sp4449.com) The journey started Saturday morning in Portland, Oregon, crossed the Columbia River into Vancouver, Washington and headed up the Columbia Gorge to a very small town called Wishram. From Wishram, it crossed back over the river and headed down the Deschutes River Valley. Once out of the Deschutes canyon, it continued south to Bend, Oregon for an overnight stay. Sunday they reversed the entire process.

It would have been very cool to have been able to ride the 4449 for this event, but tickets were $650 to $850 per person… and we just couldn’t do it right now. (check the 4449’s website for the fundraiser info and that explains the reason for the steep price)

Instead, we chased the train.

We drove down to The Dalles, OR on Friday night, staying over in a hotel there. Got up early Saturday morning, drove across The Dalles Bridge and to a lovely spot on the Washington side… where we discovered Dan and Leslie, who were camping in their motorhome there. It seems Dan and Leslie are rail fans, too.

We got to chatting and seem to have struck up a new friendship. Lovely folk. It was early morning, brisk and cool with a bit of wind off the water. Leslie was kind enough to give us coffee… and as anyone who knows me will agree, give me coffee and you become my new best friend! I now call her the Coffee Angel.

Pretty soon, a bunch of cars come tearing into the Avery Siding where we were waiting for the train. About 10 minutes later, here comes the train… excellent! Cameras blazing away, and when the engine was past us, waving like fools at the passengers… who were waving like fools back!

Everyone jumps into their cars and we all race away to the next good spot to get pictures. We leapfrogged and chased the train all the way to Bend, Oregon in this manner, meeting folk from all over the country who had come just to do this. Fun, fun, fun.

Highlight of the trip was standing on the abandoned highway bridge over a 300 foot deep canyon taking pictures of the 4449 as it passed on the railway bridge over this canyon… with the Three Sisters in the background. What a glorious place! Unfortunately my pictures don't show the intensity of the canyon depth... but I'm not sure at that time of day anyone's camera would have gotten past how little light was available in the deeper portions.

We met a bunch of really cool people chasing the 4449 from Portland to Bend and back. Exhausted ourselves and will definitely pay a price for it. But it was marvelous fun!

My sweet husband has a lifelong love affair with trains… and personally, I’d rather he chase trains than younger women!

…may there be mercy and rest for those who chase trains.

new verdict

So... I go back to my doc and get new x-rays today. Still clear and no break in the wrist. Apparently, based on the exam, I've torn a ligament.

Another two weeks in the splint... no quilting... no camera... no nothing... ugh!

At this point, I can't even open a bottle of wine on my own!

I keep reminding myself that it will heal... it will heal... it will heal...

...may there be mercy!

same stuff, different day

Still leaking a bit and stuffing my bra with gauze... but I haven't ruined any of my clothes. (looking for the bright side here)

Wrist is still quite painful... will be heading back to the doc on Weds for another round of x-rays.

I'm ready to change the channel... this is getting to be pretty tiresome.

...may there be mercy.

repeat

Incision busted open again today. Got to see my doc, who advised me to let it drain. Apparently it's "old" blood, not fresh bleeding. Could be as old as from surgery, could be something I've done since surgery. Either way, it needs to be managed. Sometimes this is the way the body manages it.

So I've got this great splint on my wrist and one side of my bra stuffed with gauze.

Just about as cool as it gets, eh?

... may there be mercy and I don't ruin all my clothes!!!

recouping

Took today off work. Still hurts too much to be able to work a full day. Besides, typing left-handed/one-handed is hard!

Not to mention I write all day for a living.

...may there be mercy and I feel good enough to work tomorrow.

Queen of Klutz

Stanley Park Seawall... lovely place, eh?

Note the great walking trail closest to the water.

Red painted line separates bikes/skaters to a separate trail.

Benches are on far side of bike trail.

Run fast between bikes to get to bench to change camera battery.

Trip on uneven and odd height curb between trails.

Fall flat out in front of God and everybody...

Land on both knees, both hands and wrists... and camera.

Cause two strained knees, a severely sprained right wrist and a massive hematoma to the incision site from the recent surgery...

... that bursts open from the pressure about 2 hours later, gushing blood everywhere.

Try to get into a Canadian ER... hahahahahahaha!!

Drive to the border holding tightly to your breast, crying because your right arm and left knee are in terrible pain.

Pray as the customs agent/border patrol guy stares in your car probably worried about what terrible person has hurt you... and looking at your sweet husband like he is a monster.

Drive another 30 minutes to St. Joe's Hospital ER in Bellingham, still clutching breast to keep pressure on the incision to keep bleeding under control.

Wait in ER with 45 other people for 90 minutes before being called to the back... still clutching breast with all the dignity one can muster.

Explain to the 5th person, finally a doctor, what has happened, who finally gets the bleeding to calm to a minor, but continual ooze.

45 mintes later, x-rays indicate no breaks in wrist or knee... but lots of swelling in both, plus other knee.

Big splint on wrist, instructions for ice and immobilization... and no quilting for another 2-3 weeks... crap!!!... and painkillers... and then we are off to drive another 45 minutes home... and finally my own bed.

At least my camera still works!

... may there be mercy and I heal fast.

another day trip

Yesterday turned out to be quite a fun day. We just enjoyed the sunshine, the long drive down back country roads, the train and each other. There was a little talk about JM while we road the train, but that part was a happy memory of him.



Today is a trip to Stanley Park. We love to explore in Vancouver, B.C. With the weather in the 80's... it should be a really good day for photography.

Packing an overnight bag... just in case we decide to stay over!



... may there be mercy on our day.




day trip

It’s been a terribly busy and tiring week… end of month. And, end of month with a key “commercial deal” guy out of the office on vacation. Of course 6 of his big commercial deals came to a head while he was gone. So my boss, me and a couple others put our heads together and made a great team to get it all done.

I was totally too tired to even consider blogging or anything else fun during the evenings all week. Brain just turned off. Found the energy one evening to work a little on my quilting, but only once!

It’s great to have 3 days off to play!

Today we are going to see theMt. Rainier Scenic Railroad. It’s a steam train that we’ve visited before, but it’s been at least 6 years. The last time we were there, it was with my sweet husband’s best friend and his wife.

It will be interesting to see what memories of our friends this trip brings up. Sadly, 4 years ago this man took his own life… and my sweet husband has never really gotten over it. Nor have I.

I can’t even begin to describe the emotions of hearing that JM had died… and then to discover it was a suicide.

JM had massive health problems that were causing him horrific pain. The doctors were not giving him any hope that they could control the pain at all… but that he could “learn to live with it”. He tried. Oh, how he tried, to learn to live with that level of chronic pain.

I don’t condone his suicide, but I do understand why he did it. Well, as much as anyone still living with chronic pain and health issues can understand someone else’s pain and decision making process.

But at the same time, four years later I’m still very angry with him for doing it. Mostly the anger flares up when I see the look on my sweet husband’s face if he very carefully mentions JM’s name in conversation.

Today should be an interesting day. I’m planning on fun with my honey… and expecting a bit of emotion for each of us as we remember JM in this setting.

…may there be mercy on our day.