Monday, February 18, 2013


I do not like them,
I do not like
green eggs and ham.          (dr. seuss)

There are many things I do not like. Many of which I must do. Many of which I fight in the process of doing.

I would rather knit. 

And yet... the doing must be done.

Conversations must be had and I must stand up for myself, no matter how much I want to avoid conflict.


                                           ...may there be mercy and wisdom in what needs to be said. 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

catching up a little

It's been a while since I've really written much. The last couple weeks have been full of overtime and a downswing in my depression. It is normal to have downswings while in the process of healing, but it is not pleasant.

However this isn't a blog post about being in the dark place. It's a post about random things in life, just to get me back on track in the blogging world. The dark place can wait for another time.

Work:  pretty much not fun right now. Working too many hours in an attempt to catch up my job and finish the files from 2012. I almost made it on Wednesday, with 2 really difficult files left to go at the end of the day. The plan was to spend Thursday auditing those 2 files, but we had too many folks out of the office with the current plague of bronchial flu stuff that it was an impossibility to do my own job that day. Friday was a repeat, with the added issue of Friday being the day I cover the Recording Desk and all that entails.

The kicker of the day was when I actually asked for help with my workload - for the first time ever in my working life - and was refused the help I needed by the coworker asked. Flat refusal with the statement of "didn't sign up for that and it's not my job." 


No, really? 

Nobody ever told me that refusing work or help at work was an option. Boy, if I'd known that it was, I'd have refused to be the one to cover the Recording Desk years ago. I hate that job, but it has to be done.

I was also taught that while at work, you work hard to ensure that the client is best served, even if you don't necessarily like the portion of the job you are asked to do.

With this refusal to help came another incredibly stressful day for me, both physically and emotionally. I'd already been arriving at work by 6:30 a.m. all week, missing lunch hours, no coffee breaks, barely enough time to stop at the ladies room a couple times a day, and this day was yet another repeat. Add a giant level of anger to the mix and it was not pretty.

Thank God I had the sense to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day or I think I would have been fired for what I would have said.

Since I've had time to think through how to say things without making a scene, I'll be having a conversation with my boss on Tuesday.

the Man:  over the last couple weeks, he had an issue wherein he got metal shavings in his eye while at work. Thankfully, a quick trip to the ER and those got removed. Corneal scratches that did heal well, and without any lingering issues for his sight. Although I have to admit that watching him attempt to put antibiotic drops into his eye was hilarious.

Family:  my sister, Deb, and I are working to gently move Mama toward filing bankruptcy. Such a hard thing to have to do at her age, but so very necessary right now. Finding the right words that don't break Mama's spirit, but do help her to move forward. Wisdom is needed, not to mention peace for her.

Deb has the biggest burden of daily needs for Mama. Oh, Mama is able to do her own day to day personal care, but she is 80 and, quite frankly, is very lonely. She misses Daddy and having a companion.

At the same time, Deb got laid off from her job. Not cool as they actually laid off an entire department of 10 people. She has had a couple interviews, but nothing yet. I'm hopeful that the next interview on Wednesday will bring an offer for her.

Knitting: currently working on a very cute sweater for myself. It's about half done now and I'm thrilled that it fits! The top-down construction allows me to try it on as I go, which is very cool.

Yesterday I got some yarn to make an adorable hat for spring. I'm itching to get that started and just might try to get it done in time to wear to work next Friday. Yes, Fridays I tend to let my funky side out a little bit, most of the time in the form of a hat or something I have knitted.

Entertainment:  today we are going to meet some coworkers for the opera and dinner. the opera is Lucia De Lammermoor, which ends up with a lot of dead bodies, but contains a wonderful mad scene. This according to my friend, Kim, who is on the opera board and does all the costuming. I was able to attend the first 2 acts of the dress rehearsal. If that is any indicator of the performance, we are in for a wonderful show.

And that's all I've got for today. At least something has been written again, and hoping to be here more regularly now.

...may there be mercy and encouragement in the muddling through of life

Saturday, February 09, 2013


Random thoughts...

- trying to explain the world of blogs and why do a blog to a lady who is not tech savvy. Interesting.

- spending the weekend with friends at a church women's retreat, feeds my soul in good ways.

Ice cream sundaes make me happy.

The Man watches movies that I don't want to see when I'm gone. This is good.

...may there be mercy and peace this night.

Monday, February 04, 2013

random thoughts

random thoughts to get me back into blogging mode again...

- not broken was a lovely, lovely phrase after my repeat x-rays. While the wrist is still achy, and overuse makes it downright painful, as long as I am careful, it can be used in moderation. Time will get me back to normal.

- depression has the ups and downs as I work out of the pit. Lately it's been down, but I know that seems to preceed a bigger up as it usually is a time of processing.

- knitting, oh, happy that I can return to my needles as knitting is a form of therapy for me. Besides, I've got a sweater in the works that I'd like to wear soon. During the superbowl yesterday, I did try a little bit of work on that sweater. Found that I can knit for a little bit without pain, but there is a fairly short time allowed yet.

- bible study group has been studying the beatitudes and it's been a great study so far. Discussions have been open and more vulnerable than before and there are bigger connections within the group.

- work, yep, still extremely behind and should have already gone in to work overtime today. Tomorrow will show that back into the mix.

And speaking of work, I'd best get there now!

...may there be mercy and a bit of happy random today.