Saturday, January 01, 2011

the road

Last year I had good intentions. Good intentions to accomplish or at least get on the road to accomplishment for a number of things.

exercise 4-5 times a week
make at least 1 quilt per month
learn to knit
read the entire bible, cover to cover, as literature
have a massive celebration of turning 50
de-clutter my house
drop 20 pounds
have guests for dinner twice a month
blog more regularly

While I was able to accomplish a couple of these - the Man calls it the “50 celebrations of turning 50” and I did learn how to knit - the road to accomplishment for the rest of that list remains untraveled.

The first quarter of last year was great for traveling that road. I spent quite a bit of time quilting, the birthday celebrations began, I dropped a couple pounds, the de-cluttering began and then the Man got pneumonia and was in the hospital for a few days.

I tried to get back on the road after that, but it seemed that the road twisted, turned, and curved, almost like a bucking horse, to throw me off.

The road was completely lost to me when my precious father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma and given only a couple months to live. My good intentions were tossed aside. Life condensed down to the really important stuff of taking care of the Man, his daddy and myself. Making sure that the things we needed to say were said, the things we needed to hear were heard.

All those things have been said and heard, now we just enjoy each moment with him, knowing those moments are winding down more rapidly each day as he gets weaker and weaker.

I still look toward the road, hoping to plant my feet firmly on it, but for now, it might just be that I can only locate the road. Walking down it will have to wait a little bit.

I know that the road waits for me, probably with a lot of additional turns meant to throw me. I am looking forward to stepping back on that road, still looking at the list from last year, and adding a few thoughts for this year.

...may there be mercy and hope in setting my feet back on the road...