Thursday, December 29, 2005


Big brother called me about 30 minutes ago to tell me he is home from the hospital!

I'm an emotional mess all over again...

... but it's the good kind of emotional mess.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Insanity and Exhaustion and Healing... Oh My!

It's end of month and end of year at work... absolute insanity and exhaustion abound.

But big brother is healing and recovering... hallelujah!

They are still doing tests to try to find the damn aneurysm. If they find it, they can fix it.

May there be mercy and they find it...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Gift

Merry Christmas!

The best gift... talking to big brother today...

... and hugs from my sweet husband while I cried after.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Set Backs

Mama says big brother slept most of yesterday and today... which is a set back. I hate medical set backs. Have had enough of them myself that I understand 'em. Don't like 'em, but understand 'em.

I think it's a result of, and a response to, the CT scan he had yesterday. Body has to adjust to, and deal with, the dyes used, eh?

All I know is that I want him well enough to talk to me... so I can tell him how badly he scared me and to knock this sh*% off!

When he was awake, his step-daughter told him that SHE was the spoiled princess of the family and that he was to knock this off because he was taking the attention off of her. Big brother smiled at that. He knows his kids well... and I love that comment from her!

The good news is that he will still be here for Christmas!

Continued prayers for mercy on my big brother.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Big brother is making very good progress now. He woke up hungry yesterday and has started eating. He’s also been able to maintain consciousness well, which is great news.

He won’t be home for Christmas, but who cares? His wife and Mama and my sister will take Christmas to him.

Continued prayers for healing and for mercy on my big brother.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

No changes

Continued prayers for mercy on my big brother...

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Far From Family

When the phone call came, I didn’t even recognize my sweet Mama’s voice.

Yep, got one of those horrible phone calls this week. The one that tells you that someone you love dearly is in the ER… and he might not make it.

It just can’t be my big brother. It can’t.

But it is.

My oldest brother is in ICU with a massive brain bleed that they believe is an aneurysm. They believe this, but they can’t find the damn thing to fix it. Four days of waiting and tests… and they still haven’t been able to find it.

Times like this I hate being 1300 miles away from my family.

But Mama says not to come yet.

So I wait for the phone calls to tell me the latest news, while trying to keep my mind occupied. It isn’t easy.

This is my favorite brother, whom I have always adored.

I know I’m not supposed to have a favorite, but come on, who doesn’t???

This is the one who protected me… walked me to school the 2nd day of kindergarten… was my babysitter… comforted me when Jimmy Y told me that there wasn’t any Santa on that 2nd day of kindergarten… told me that Jimmy Y was a big fat liar… the one who always fixed my car when we lived in the same town… the one who bought me a stuffed animal that was actually taller than me, which was hard to do since I’ve always been tall… the one who ran to Burger King the day of my wedding to grab some lunch for a bride who was starving… the one with whom I’d have eating contests until we were both so sick we wished we could throw up… the one who held my hand and talked and laughed and cried with me in October when we talked about how much we missed our Daddy…

I so desperately want him to be okay…

… may there be mercy on my big brother…

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Return to Reality

Vacation was amazing and wonderful. I've been spoiled rotten by friends and family... and wondering how to continue that!

Actually, my sweet husband really does spoil me quite a bit.

I need sleep tonight to rest up for the work week ahead. It's end of month and also end of year, so there is much chaos... and overtime.

May there be mercy...