Saturday, December 17, 2005

Far From Family

When the phone call came, I didn’t even recognize my sweet Mama’s voice.

Yep, got one of those horrible phone calls this week. The one that tells you that someone you love dearly is in the ER… and he might not make it.

It just can’t be my big brother. It can’t.

But it is.

My oldest brother is in ICU with a massive brain bleed that they believe is an aneurysm. They believe this, but they can’t find the damn thing to fix it. Four days of waiting and tests… and they still haven’t been able to find it.

Times like this I hate being 1300 miles away from my family.

But Mama says not to come yet.

So I wait for the phone calls to tell me the latest news, while trying to keep my mind occupied. It isn’t easy.

This is my favorite brother, whom I have always adored.

I know I’m not supposed to have a favorite, but come on, who doesn’t???

This is the one who protected me… walked me to school the 2nd day of kindergarten… was my babysitter… comforted me when Jimmy Y told me that there wasn’t any Santa on that 2nd day of kindergarten… told me that Jimmy Y was a big fat liar… the one who always fixed my car when we lived in the same town… the one who bought me a stuffed animal that was actually taller than me, which was hard to do since I’ve always been tall… the one who ran to Burger King the day of my wedding to grab some lunch for a bride who was starving… the one with whom I’d have eating contests until we were both so sick we wished we could throw up… the one who held my hand and talked and laughed and cried with me in October when we talked about how much we missed our Daddy…

I so desperately want him to be okay…

… may there be mercy on my big brother…

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