Sunday, October 30, 2005

Where are my Blogs?

I haven’t been blogging as much as I’d like to lately. It’s because I’ve been sewing like crazy.

I have a project I’m working on for my family and friends for Christmas. I’m making quilted table runners. They need to be done so that I can have them in people’s hands around December 1st. I want them to be able to enjoy these for the entire Christmas season, so they are getting their Christmas gifts early… if I can get them all done.

I’ve got 4 done now and 3 more to go... maybe 4 or 5. I might actually get the table runners done in the next 10 days. If I keep sewing each evening and my sweet husband can tolerate a long series of fast and fairly simple dinners. Maybe that’s if I can tolerate that series of dinners! I do love to cook.

There are a couple other sewing projects for Christmas gifts, for those people who just would not appreciate (or use) a table runner.

My mother will get a sweatshirt embroidered with a dachshund on the front… and a funny saying like “in my next life I want to be Mama’s dog!”

My Father-in-law will get a shirt with his initials embroidered on it… and also a lap quilt for the colder evenings.

My Mother-in-law will get a pretty shirt with kitties embroidered on it… she loves kitties, especially Siamese, and still remembers what they are. (Have I mentioned lately that I hate Alzheimer’s?)

Things have been crazy lately, but I have been making time to sew… and sewing is such a relaxing tool for me…

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


In my heart, I named my child Grace.
It was really Jennifer Grace, because my husband wanted a daughter named Jenny. But I always call her Grace.
Child of body… child of love…
… lost exactly 8 weeks after the adoption of your sister flipped.
…do you look down from Heaven at us, your Mommy and Daddy, and at the girl who should have been your sister?
… do you know that we miss you each and every day?
…do you know that we love you still?
I have said in the past about the adoption flipping, that I swear sometimes that my heart stopped beating then and has never really been able to start again.
After we lost Grace, my heart ... shattered.
Some days, when I think of Grace, it shatters all over again.
It took a very long time, years in fact, for my heart to heal enough to talk about Grace.
It took a very long time for my heart to heal enough to do more than just day-to-day survival.
It took a very long time to learn to live again.
Grace was the only child we were ever able to conceive. We lost her before we could hold her in our arms, but loved her as much as human hearts can love. We still do.
… your sister was the child of my heart….
… you were the child of body and love…
… we miss you both…
… and love you always…

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

It's the Little Things...

Ya know, it’s the little things in life that really touch my heart.

A call from my Mama to tell me she’s made my favorite dinner for the upcoming weekend when I will be there. She lives in another state, so while dinner itself is a small thing, dinner at her home is a special event.

An email from my brother to tell me he loves me… even though we haven’t communicated in 10 years due to his drug addiction and prison sentences.

A husband who will run errands for me… to the fabric store of all places, to get a yard of a specific fabric. And when they are so busy that he can see that they can’t leave the cutting tables to help him find the specific fabric, he finds it himself… gets it cut into the proper length… and comes home to tell me they are having a sale.

A friend at work who leaves me cards of encouragement and caring when she sees I’m having a hard time. It’s really cool that she sees what I hide from others.

My Q-friend who emails me the newsy things that happen in her day… and who encourages me by her completely positive attitude.

A group of online friends who care enough about one another to make sure that each of us is going to be emotionally okay, even when things are difficult for the person doing the checking.

KK, who, despite a disability that exhausts her, stays upbeat and encourages me and takes my phone calls at totally odd hours of the day.

E, who is an amazing cheerleader and makes me laugh, even when I think I don't have any laughter left inside me.

KC, who will put already prepared meals in my fridge when I am gone this weekend... so that my husband will have dinners while I am away. She wants to make sure I don’t have to stress about making sure he is fed while I am gone.

A husband who gets up at 5 a.m., when he doesn’t have to do so, just to make me coffee... ya just gotta love a man who will do this for his wife when he could be sleeping.

A husband who loves me... enough to give up sleep...

It’s the little things that really touch my heart.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Thumper’s Adage

My office has been an unhappy place to be lately. Everyone is so very busy and so very stressed. It’s awful.

Of course the stress spills over onto co-workers… and relationships are being hit kinda hard right now. There has been a ton of backbiting, gossip and trashing one another going on.

I hate to admit that I’ve done my share.

This morning I made a decision while driving to work. I’m joining Thumper and follow the adage…

“If ya can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nuttin’ at all.”

I told a friend that I’m going to have to work hard at the floppy ear thing and the scuffing my toe in the dirt while saying it. Probably can get that foot-thumping thing pretty well if I work at it.

But I’m tired of the office being a place to gripe. So I’m starting to change things in my little corner.

It was quiet in my corner of the office today. No one could tell it was quiet because the office was its usual dull roar of conversations, telephones ringing, customers being helped and office machines. The normal office noises were there.

But my corner was quiet.