Wednesday, October 26, 2005


In my heart, I named my child Grace.
It was really Jennifer Grace, because my husband wanted a daughter named Jenny. But I always call her Grace.
Child of body… child of love…
… lost exactly 8 weeks after the adoption of your sister flipped.
…do you look down from Heaven at us, your Mommy and Daddy, and at the girl who should have been your sister?
… do you know that we miss you each and every day?
…do you know that we love you still?
I have said in the past about the adoption flipping, that I swear sometimes that my heart stopped beating then and has never really been able to start again.
After we lost Grace, my heart ... shattered.
Some days, when I think of Grace, it shatters all over again.
It took a very long time, years in fact, for my heart to heal enough to talk about Grace.
It took a very long time for my heart to heal enough to do more than just day-to-day survival.
It took a very long time to learn to live again.
Grace was the only child we were ever able to conceive. We lost her before we could hold her in our arms, but loved her as much as human hearts can love. We still do.
… your sister was the child of my heart….
… you were the child of body and love…
… we miss you both…
… and love you always…

1 comment:

Eleanor said...

Thank you for sharing her with us, sweetie. If being loved defines a life, then Grace lived -- and lives -- a complete one.