Saturday, September 02, 2006

day trip

It’s been a terribly busy and tiring week… end of month. And, end of month with a key “commercial deal” guy out of the office on vacation. Of course 6 of his big commercial deals came to a head while he was gone. So my boss, me and a couple others put our heads together and made a great team to get it all done.

I was totally too tired to even consider blogging or anything else fun during the evenings all week. Brain just turned off. Found the energy one evening to work a little on my quilting, but only once!

It’s great to have 3 days off to play!

Today we are going to see theMt. Rainier Scenic Railroad. It’s a steam train that we’ve visited before, but it’s been at least 6 years. The last time we were there, it was with my sweet husband’s best friend and his wife.

It will be interesting to see what memories of our friends this trip brings up. Sadly, 4 years ago this man took his own life… and my sweet husband has never really gotten over it. Nor have I.

I can’t even begin to describe the emotions of hearing that JM had died… and then to discover it was a suicide.

JM had massive health problems that were causing him horrific pain. The doctors were not giving him any hope that they could control the pain at all… but that he could “learn to live with it”. He tried. Oh, how he tried, to learn to live with that level of chronic pain.

I don’t condone his suicide, but I do understand why he did it. Well, as much as anyone still living with chronic pain and health issues can understand someone else’s pain and decision making process.

But at the same time, four years later I’m still very angry with him for doing it. Mostly the anger flares up when I see the look on my sweet husband’s face if he very carefully mentions JM’s name in conversation.

Today should be an interesting day. I’m planning on fun with my honey… and expecting a bit of emotion for each of us as we remember JM in this setting.

…may there be mercy on our day.

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