Wednesday, December 28, 2016

talking with sister

Listening to the Man talk with his sister tonight, I am just enjoying their conversation without carrying the conversation. They don't have the easiest relationship, but the diagnosis of dementia has changed their dynamic for the better.

It's just too bad it took dementia to change it.

We never understood why she didn't call or respond to our calls after their dad passed away. We tried to connect with her, but got no response to anything.

The Man did tell me how much it hurt him, but he let it go and let her determine how things would work out.

It took 3 years for her to make any attempt at communication, and then it was a vague message on Facebook. After digging a bit, I discovered she had broken her arm and had surgery, but we weren't notified of her accident.

We talked it over and decided that the relationship reconnection was more important than the hurt or anger we might be feeling... and are glad we moved that way. No regrets at reestablishing connection.

In the last 3 years, it's still slow going on their relationship, and usually requires me to start any conversations. Or to keep a conversation going.

Tonight they have been talking for over an hour, without me in the conversation. At all. Wow!

That's new, obviously. And all due to the diagnosis of dementia.

Terminal illness will do that whole "gotta say the important things" thing.

All I really care about is that the Man is happy to talk with his sister as much as they have been doing in the last few months.

All I really care about is the Man.

...may there be mercy and a visit from his sister soon, while he still knows her... 

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