In the last few days, I've started recognizing just how many people in our lives are feeling pity for us.
I hate pity. It's useless.
How does pity help me? Or the Man?
Pity is simply a way for someone to feel better about their lives or situations because they believe they are in better shape than me.
My answer - bullshit.
Oh, you didn't think there would be language here? Sorry to disappoint. Some words just need to be used... in a judicious manner.
.... and that's where I got stuck.
Because all I wanted was to drop F-bombs and could not get past it, and I really didn't want F-bombs on my blog.
And I was angry. Very angry.
But anger is too scary for me to manage at this time, so I stuff it down and pretend it isn't there. Eventually I will deal with the anger, but now isn't the time. Oh, don't worry, I am discussing anger issues with my counselor.
In the meantime, I'm actually focussing on recognizing the incredibly sweet moments of when the Man is able to be that guy I fell in love with... when his humor comes out to make me laugh out loud... when he remembers to take out the trash can every Tuesday night... how he wants to know if a friend has checked in, because he is concerned about the friend who is going through a divorce and wants to show he cares.
There are many more precious moments that I am holding in my heart.
And there are moments that I must stop writing and just sit holding his hand because that's what he wants to do tonight. When he wants to sit and snuggle up together, that's the best. Ever.
And none of the rest matters quite as much.
I hate pity. It's useless.
How does pity help me? Or the Man?
Pity is simply a way for someone to feel better about their lives or situations because they believe they are in better shape than me.
My answer - bullshit.
Oh, you didn't think there would be language here? Sorry to disappoint. Some words just need to be used... in a judicious manner.
.... and that's where I got stuck.
Because all I wanted was to drop F-bombs and could not get past it, and I really didn't want F-bombs on my blog.
And I was angry. Very angry.
But anger is too scary for me to manage at this time, so I stuff it down and pretend it isn't there. Eventually I will deal with the anger, but now isn't the time. Oh, don't worry, I am discussing anger issues with my counselor.
In the meantime, I'm actually focussing on recognizing the incredibly sweet moments of when the Man is able to be that guy I fell in love with... when his humor comes out to make me laugh out loud... when he remembers to take out the trash can every Tuesday night... how he wants to know if a friend has checked in, because he is concerned about the friend who is going through a divorce and wants to show he cares.
There are many more precious moments that I am holding in my heart.
And there are moments that I must stop writing and just sit holding his hand because that's what he wants to do tonight. When he wants to sit and snuggle up together, that's the best. Ever.
And none of the rest matters quite as much.
... may there be mercy and comfort in the struggle-y parts.
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