24 working hours until vacation! Not that I'm counting or anything! ;-p
This is a link to part of the fun things we will be doing on our trip: http://www.alberniheritage.com/
Yep, gotta please the train guy!
And of course, there will be winery visits. This is one: http://www.cherrypointvineyards.com/
It looks cool to me because it is one of a very few in the world that is aboriginal owned and operated.
I'm ready now! Well, except for that packing thing. Soon.
...may there be mercy and joy in our time off together.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
sick
Ugh!
Crappy, cruddy, we haven't gotten warm enough to really get summer bronchitis-y type virus has hit me - and hard. Today is the first day since Wednesday that I think I might actually live.
...may there be mercy and warm enough weather to bake this out of me...
Crappy, cruddy, we haven't gotten warm enough to really get summer bronchitis-y type virus has hit me - and hard. Today is the first day since Wednesday that I think I might actually live.
...may there be mercy and warm enough weather to bake this out of me...
Saturday, June 14, 2008
time to play
Saturday... I love Saturdays, especially when we can have Sleep In Day and the promise of some fun together. Since my sweet husband has this weekend off, this is one of those lovely Saturdays.
Yay!
...may there be mercy and joy in our day.
Yay!
...may there be mercy and joy in our day.
Monday, June 02, 2008
home...
Home...and so very glad to be here. I’ve missed of my quiet little life and my quiet little home and my sweet husband.
The trip was both good and very difficult. I was so far outside of my comfort zone this trip.
Home...where we have structure and our routine instead of chaos. I’ve missed the normalcy of our life where the day’s activities and mealtimes are mostly planned.
The days there are completely unstructured. Everyone goes to bed and gets up when they want to, even the smaller grandchildren...who may stay up until 2 a.m. playing computer games even when the adults go to bed around 10 p.m. Whatever happens is fine. No planning of any part of the day, whatsoever. Breakfast is anytime from 10 a.m. to noon. Dinner is sometime between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m. - whenever everyone gets hungry enough and my stepmother is ready to fix it. No midday meal, just potato chips and candy available for whenever anyone wants a snack. The biggest events of the day are letting the dogs out to run the property and watering the gardens...whenever they decide to do it.
Home...where even when our home is messy, it is just a simple mess and clutter. I’ve missed feeling clean.
I admit to being a lazy housekeeper at times and a messy person, but I’ve never seen anything like this before. The only word to describe it is squaller. Outside, there are at least a dozen junk cars on the property. Some are just rusting hulks with parts already gleaned from them, some are waiting for dissection. There are 2 buildings that are each equal size to the house - each used for storage of unknown stuff, completely full. Inside the house are pathways to chairs, kitchen, bedrooms, between the bed and the door, etc. No open space at all...mostly I think due to a hoarder mentality. With the exception of the dishes, nothing inside the house has been cleaned since I was there 4 years ago. There are items on shelves that have not been moved in those 4 years, with the accumulated dust and filth of those years showing. The entire house smells of urine since one of the toilets overflows daily. They bathe once a week, brush their teeth twice a week and change clothes about every 4 days. In New Mexico the temperature is about 85 this time of year...and everything there pretty much stinks.
Home...where we have actual quiet and calm. I’ve missed the simplicity of quiet.
I like a good TV show or movie and will usually play my music pretty loudly. There are 5 TV’s at my birth father’s home. All of them are on, 24/7...and loud! There are 7 living grandchildren, any or all of whom are on site at any given time. Everyone is clamoring to be heard over the noise of the TV’s or the other people.
Home...where we have actual conversations with one another instead of thinking out what stories we will tell while the other person is talking. I’ve missed the give and take of a real conversation.
My sweet husband and I sometimes argue that the other person is not listening...but it’s not completely true. We hear one another and respond to the conversation or “spirited discussion” appropriately. There, everyone is so busy thinking up the next story to tell or what they want to say that nobody ever asks a thing about anyone else. It was a time of being talked “at” instead of talked “with”. One would think that a birth family would want to get to know a person...what they think, like, want, do, etc. Apparently it was more important to ignore what I was saying about my life (when I could say anything at all) and tell me more about the things they have done.
Home...where we have openness coupled with caring instead of undercurrents of fear, concern and hostility. I’m so grateful that my sweet husband and I discuss the things in life that make us concerned for one another - whether health, work or just daily things.
My birth father is 82 and starting to fail, but nobody will talk about it. I could see the concern, but it was very obvious that it was not open for discussion even if I had not been there. My sister is just beginning to allow herself to grieve the loss of her 17 year old son who died in November. No one will talk about it with her. Instead, they watch her with deep concern, but will not even ask her how she is doing. I did...and discovered that she is in a self-destructive mode. I am so glad I asked, because we were able to talk through some of her grief and how to get her some help so that she gets out of the self-destructive mode. She will never truly get over the loss of her son, I understand that part, but she needs to be able to cope and move out of self-destruct mode.
Home...where making up after an argument is sweet without requiring a trip to the ER and another argument is waiting on your return.
My sister’s oldest son spent much time with his dad after the divorce. Sadly, he was told many things about his mother that were not true. There is bitterness, resentment, and a large lack of respect. The night before I arrived, they got into a fight and he threw a kitchen chair at her...causing a bruised heel-bone and the need for crutches for the next several weeks or months. Another night while I was there, they got into a yelling fight just after I went to bed. The only way I could cope with their fight was to turn on the fan, put my pillow over my ears and whisper to myself, “shut up, shut up, shut up!” I worry about them both.
Home...where I am loved. I didn’t miss out on being loved.
In spite of all the stuff I’ve written, they love me and are not afraid to show it. There was a little planning to show me the areas they tell me about - where they hunt elk for meat, where they camp, where they log trees for firewood - going 4-wheeling in those areas, and also a massive family BBQ where we laughed and teased one another. Even me, as if I’d lived there always. I wish this post didn’t sound so judgmental. I love them and am glad I went. The contrast between our lives is just so harsh.
Home...
...may there be mercy as I process all the emotions of this trip.
The trip was both good and very difficult. I was so far outside of my comfort zone this trip.
Home...where we have structure and our routine instead of chaos. I’ve missed the normalcy of our life where the day’s activities and mealtimes are mostly planned.
The days there are completely unstructured. Everyone goes to bed and gets up when they want to, even the smaller grandchildren...who may stay up until 2 a.m. playing computer games even when the adults go to bed around 10 p.m. Whatever happens is fine. No planning of any part of the day, whatsoever. Breakfast is anytime from 10 a.m. to noon. Dinner is sometime between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m. - whenever everyone gets hungry enough and my stepmother is ready to fix it. No midday meal, just potato chips and candy available for whenever anyone wants a snack. The biggest events of the day are letting the dogs out to run the property and watering the gardens...whenever they decide to do it.
Home...where even when our home is messy, it is just a simple mess and clutter. I’ve missed feeling clean.
I admit to being a lazy housekeeper at times and a messy person, but I’ve never seen anything like this before. The only word to describe it is squaller. Outside, there are at least a dozen junk cars on the property. Some are just rusting hulks with parts already gleaned from them, some are waiting for dissection. There are 2 buildings that are each equal size to the house - each used for storage of unknown stuff, completely full. Inside the house are pathways to chairs, kitchen, bedrooms, between the bed and the door, etc. No open space at all...mostly I think due to a hoarder mentality. With the exception of the dishes, nothing inside the house has been cleaned since I was there 4 years ago. There are items on shelves that have not been moved in those 4 years, with the accumulated dust and filth of those years showing. The entire house smells of urine since one of the toilets overflows daily. They bathe once a week, brush their teeth twice a week and change clothes about every 4 days. In New Mexico the temperature is about 85 this time of year...and everything there pretty much stinks.
Home...where we have actual quiet and calm. I’ve missed the simplicity of quiet.
I like a good TV show or movie and will usually play my music pretty loudly. There are 5 TV’s at my birth father’s home. All of them are on, 24/7...and loud! There are 7 living grandchildren, any or all of whom are on site at any given time. Everyone is clamoring to be heard over the noise of the TV’s or the other people.
Home...where we have actual conversations with one another instead of thinking out what stories we will tell while the other person is talking. I’ve missed the give and take of a real conversation.
My sweet husband and I sometimes argue that the other person is not listening...but it’s not completely true. We hear one another and respond to the conversation or “spirited discussion” appropriately. There, everyone is so busy thinking up the next story to tell or what they want to say that nobody ever asks a thing about anyone else. It was a time of being talked “at” instead of talked “with”. One would think that a birth family would want to get to know a person...what they think, like, want, do, etc. Apparently it was more important to ignore what I was saying about my life (when I could say anything at all) and tell me more about the things they have done.
Home...where we have openness coupled with caring instead of undercurrents of fear, concern and hostility. I’m so grateful that my sweet husband and I discuss the things in life that make us concerned for one another - whether health, work or just daily things.
My birth father is 82 and starting to fail, but nobody will talk about it. I could see the concern, but it was very obvious that it was not open for discussion even if I had not been there. My sister is just beginning to allow herself to grieve the loss of her 17 year old son who died in November. No one will talk about it with her. Instead, they watch her with deep concern, but will not even ask her how she is doing. I did...and discovered that she is in a self-destructive mode. I am so glad I asked, because we were able to talk through some of her grief and how to get her some help so that she gets out of the self-destructive mode. She will never truly get over the loss of her son, I understand that part, but she needs to be able to cope and move out of self-destruct mode.
Home...where making up after an argument is sweet without requiring a trip to the ER and another argument is waiting on your return.
My sister’s oldest son spent much time with his dad after the divorce. Sadly, he was told many things about his mother that were not true. There is bitterness, resentment, and a large lack of respect. The night before I arrived, they got into a fight and he threw a kitchen chair at her...causing a bruised heel-bone and the need for crutches for the next several weeks or months. Another night while I was there, they got into a yelling fight just after I went to bed. The only way I could cope with their fight was to turn on the fan, put my pillow over my ears and whisper to myself, “shut up, shut up, shut up!” I worry about them both.
Home...where I am loved. I didn’t miss out on being loved.
In spite of all the stuff I’ve written, they love me and are not afraid to show it. There was a little planning to show me the areas they tell me about - where they hunt elk for meat, where they camp, where they log trees for firewood - going 4-wheeling in those areas, and also a massive family BBQ where we laughed and teased one another. Even me, as if I’d lived there always. I wish this post didn’t sound so judgmental. I love them and am glad I went. The contrast between our lives is just so harsh.
Home...
...may there be mercy as I process all the emotions of this trip.
Friday, May 30, 2008
new mexico
Am posting on my last day here. It's been a good visit, but one filled with a ton of conflicting emotions. A bit of overload. Will be glad to be home with my sweet husband tomorrow. I've missed him!!
More on this trip to see my birth father soon... when I'm not posting from my phone!
...may there be mercy as I process and as I travel.
More on this trip to see my birth father soon... when I'm not posting from my phone!
...may there be mercy as I process and as I travel.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
catching up
Wow... been a while, eh?
Got a nasty bout with bronchitis... followed by a relapse of bronchitis... compounded with a couple family emergencies... and topped with a lovely trip to the ER since I am the Queen of Klutz.
Big sigh.
Yep, I'm on crutches, with a brace on my leg from upper thigh to almost my ankle. It's simply lovely and just the accessory a shoe maven would want for the summer. Thankfully I think I'll only have it for another week.
Oh, you want to know why, don't you?
You know me. You know I'm a Klutz! How about the good story or stories that I've come up with instead??
1. Got into a bar fight.
2. Took on a motorcycle gang.
3. Joined the Roller Derby (this is my personal favorite, and the most believable since there really is roller derby nearby.)
Oh, you don't believe these and are laughing at me.
Real story... BORING!!!... is that I didn't realize the vacuum cord was around my ankle and took a step...
Timmmmmmmmm-berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
Yep, like a tree in the forest, down I went. All 5 foot 9 inches of me... full weight... on my right knee.
Did anyone hear the bad words where you live?? I'm sure they were loud enough.
So fast forward a bit through the ER visit and the follow up doc visit 6 days later. No broken bones. Not torn in bad ways. Hamburger for parts of the knee and swollen still to almost twice the normal size. (a full week later!!!) Equates to a horrific sprain that will take time to heal.
So... I'm traveling to Albuquerque tomorrow to see my birth father... with this huge brace and crutches. Should be fun, eh?
...may there be mercy as I travel and fast healing.
Got a nasty bout with bronchitis... followed by a relapse of bronchitis... compounded with a couple family emergencies... and topped with a lovely trip to the ER since I am the Queen of Klutz.
Big sigh.
Yep, I'm on crutches, with a brace on my leg from upper thigh to almost my ankle. It's simply lovely and just the accessory a shoe maven would want for the summer. Thankfully I think I'll only have it for another week.
Oh, you want to know why, don't you?
You know me. You know I'm a Klutz! How about the good story or stories that I've come up with instead??
1. Got into a bar fight.
2. Took on a motorcycle gang.
3. Joined the Roller Derby (this is my personal favorite, and the most believable since there really is roller derby nearby.)
Oh, you don't believe these and are laughing at me.
Real story... BORING!!!... is that I didn't realize the vacuum cord was around my ankle and took a step...
Timmmmmmmmm-berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
Yep, like a tree in the forest, down I went. All 5 foot 9 inches of me... full weight... on my right knee.
Did anyone hear the bad words where you live?? I'm sure they were loud enough.
So fast forward a bit through the ER visit and the follow up doc visit 6 days later. No broken bones. Not torn in bad ways. Hamburger for parts of the knee and swollen still to almost twice the normal size. (a full week later!!!) Equates to a horrific sprain that will take time to heal.
So... I'm traveling to Albuquerque tomorrow to see my birth father... with this huge brace and crutches. Should be fun, eh?
...may there be mercy as I travel and fast healing.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
bronchial blues
Have been sick all week with bronchitis. Ugh!
...may there be mercy and a quick end to coughing.
...may there be mercy and a quick end to coughing.
Monday, March 31, 2008
3BT spring
Just need to take a moment and find some beauty...
1. matching up fabric triangles for a quilt. It's for my sister-in-law and I let her pick the fabrics. I would not have picked them to go together, but the colors are pleasing nonetheless.
2. having a brand new radiant heater under my desk at work. It sends a little warm glow over me and I feel better.
3. hearing Mama's voice today.
...may there be mercy and moments to find beauty.
1. matching up fabric triangles for a quilt. It's for my sister-in-law and I let her pick the fabrics. I would not have picked them to go together, but the colors are pleasing nonetheless.
2. having a brand new radiant heater under my desk at work. It sends a little warm glow over me and I feel better.
3. hearing Mama's voice today.
...may there be mercy and moments to find beauty.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
quilt of love and hate
It's National Quilting Day and yes, I'm spending today quilting away. This quilt is for my friend, coworker and the Official Office Big Brother, James... who has inoperable, terminal liver cancer.
Last year I made 5 quilts for friends with cancer. As I sewed, I prayed for each of them. For healing, for comfort, for the awareness of how much each of them is loved, for strength in the treatment process, for peace.
And for a year not filled with making quilts for friends with cancer.
Thus far, each of them is kicking cancer's ass... even Dwight, who has pancreatic cancer and we know that he probably won't see Christmas. But he wasn't supposed to see last Christmas, so the fact that he is still with us, fighting with all he has, means he is kicking cancer's ass.
But James... sweet, loving, caring, generous, big-brother James... his health has been so bad for so long that he doesn't have that much left in him to be able to fight as hard. Bless him, he hasn't given up yet, but his ability to fight as hard as others might... well, it just isn't there.
So I'm working quickly on this quilt. For many reasons, I love this quilt. For other reasons, I hate it.
I love it because the fabrics are rich and lush, yet simple in the designs. They speak to me of James. Civil war reproduction prints that are beautiful. I hate it because James is so much a part of my life and he is being taken away from me.
Love it because it's tested my ability to allow imperfections without fretting about them. Love isn't perfect, and it's about letting people be imperfect. Hate it because James won't be able to enjoy it for very long.
Love it because the quilting in the border is symbolic of hugs and kisses and the hope that he feels wrapped in love when he uses it. Hate it because I so hate cancer for the suffering and pain it causes.
As I stitch, sometimes the tears block my vision so badly that I can't tell what I'm doing.
Enough rambling... I need to dry my eyes and put the binding on this quilt of love and hate.
...may there be mercy in the sorrow and joy in our time left with James.
Last year I made 5 quilts for friends with cancer. As I sewed, I prayed for each of them. For healing, for comfort, for the awareness of how much each of them is loved, for strength in the treatment process, for peace.
And for a year not filled with making quilts for friends with cancer.
Thus far, each of them is kicking cancer's ass... even Dwight, who has pancreatic cancer and we know that he probably won't see Christmas. But he wasn't supposed to see last Christmas, so the fact that he is still with us, fighting with all he has, means he is kicking cancer's ass.
But James... sweet, loving, caring, generous, big-brother James... his health has been so bad for so long that he doesn't have that much left in him to be able to fight as hard. Bless him, he hasn't given up yet, but his ability to fight as hard as others might... well, it just isn't there.
So I'm working quickly on this quilt. For many reasons, I love this quilt. For other reasons, I hate it.
I love it because the fabrics are rich and lush, yet simple in the designs. They speak to me of James. Civil war reproduction prints that are beautiful. I hate it because James is so much a part of my life and he is being taken away from me.
Love it because it's tested my ability to allow imperfections without fretting about them. Love isn't perfect, and it's about letting people be imperfect. Hate it because James won't be able to enjoy it for very long.
Love it because the quilting in the border is symbolic of hugs and kisses and the hope that he feels wrapped in love when he uses it. Hate it because I so hate cancer for the suffering and pain it causes.
As I stitch, sometimes the tears block my vision so badly that I can't tell what I'm doing.
Enough rambling... I need to dry my eyes and put the binding on this quilt of love and hate.
...may there be mercy in the sorrow and joy in our time left with James.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
normal life
So... ummm... yeah, it's been a while.
A lot has been happening and yet, nothing more than normal life.
At the same time, normal life is a wonderful thing.
Here's an overview of stuff. If you are interested in more detail on any of these things or anything else... email, call or sit down over coffee with me. Y'all know I love to talk. Besides, it will give me a chance to catch up on you - which is more important to me anyway!
• Health: Neck is doing better after a series of trigger point injections and some really good physical therapy. Yep, that's injections, plural. Lots of needles (with medicine in them!) stuck into my neck, shoulder and upper back. During the sticking... a bit on the "OWIE" side. Within a couple minutes, waaaaaay less pain and I'm liking that! The best news is that so far this year I've not gotten the terrible congestion-type crud that has been making the rounds at my office.
• Work: mostly equates to same stuff, new day. Nothing terrible, nothing wonderful... but that's actually kinda cool right now. At the same time, we are really hoping for it to get busier soon.
• Family in San Diego: Mama and sisters are fine. Big brother continues to do well in spite of the toll his illness took on his body. Next brother is holding on, but barely. His life is horrible right now, but he is chosing to stay where he is in order to have a positive influence on his young son, age 6. I bless him for this choice... and worry about him for it at the same time. Last brother has deliberately chosen to go back into the drug culture and is using again. I'm really, really pissed off at him. Long story. Since it was a deliberate choice, I'm pissed.
• Precious Father-in-law is doing well for an 85 year old man. We spent the evening with him recently and just enjoyed our time so much. He makes me laugh!
• Sweet husband is delightful. He bought me a new ring to celebrate our 20th anniversary... and it's stunning. We put the diamond from my original engagement ring into it. He was so cute and had such a sweet grin on his face when he slipped this new ring on my finger. Gosh, but I love that man.
• The timechange will take a few days for us to acclimate. I've never done well with the spring loss of an hour. Takes me longer than most folks to get over that exhausted feeling of getting up earler.
And... thanks to that timechange issue, I'm exhausted and going to stop rambling for tonight.
...may there be mercy in our normal life issues...
A lot has been happening and yet, nothing more than normal life.
At the same time, normal life is a wonderful thing.
Here's an overview of stuff. If you are interested in more detail on any of these things or anything else... email, call or sit down over coffee with me. Y'all know I love to talk. Besides, it will give me a chance to catch up on you - which is more important to me anyway!
• Health: Neck is doing better after a series of trigger point injections and some really good physical therapy. Yep, that's injections, plural. Lots of needles (with medicine in them!) stuck into my neck, shoulder and upper back. During the sticking... a bit on the "OWIE" side. Within a couple minutes, waaaaaay less pain and I'm liking that! The best news is that so far this year I've not gotten the terrible congestion-type crud that has been making the rounds at my office.
• Work: mostly equates to same stuff, new day. Nothing terrible, nothing wonderful... but that's actually kinda cool right now. At the same time, we are really hoping for it to get busier soon.
• Family in San Diego: Mama and sisters are fine. Big brother continues to do well in spite of the toll his illness took on his body. Next brother is holding on, but barely. His life is horrible right now, but he is chosing to stay where he is in order to have a positive influence on his young son, age 6. I bless him for this choice... and worry about him for it at the same time. Last brother has deliberately chosen to go back into the drug culture and is using again. I'm really, really pissed off at him. Long story. Since it was a deliberate choice, I'm pissed.
• Precious Father-in-law is doing well for an 85 year old man. We spent the evening with him recently and just enjoyed our time so much. He makes me laugh!
• Sweet husband is delightful. He bought me a new ring to celebrate our 20th anniversary... and it's stunning. We put the diamond from my original engagement ring into it. He was so cute and had such a sweet grin on his face when he slipped this new ring on my finger. Gosh, but I love that man.
• The timechange will take a few days for us to acclimate. I've never done well with the spring loss of an hour. Takes me longer than most folks to get over that exhausted feeling of getting up earler.
And... thanks to that timechange issue, I'm exhausted and going to stop rambling for tonight.
...may there be mercy in our normal life issues...
Friday, February 29, 2008
another check in
Been a little overbooked with schedule lately. Lots of chaos with family stuff. Got a couple emails checking in to see if I am okay.
I'm okay!
Will make a stab at a real blog post over the weekend.
...may there be mercy in the chaos...
I'm okay!
Will make a stab at a real blog post over the weekend.
...may there be mercy in the chaos...
Monday, February 11, 2008
checking in
Waving and letting y'all know I'm still kicking! Just busy and a little on the overloaded side. Nothing that will kill me, just juggling a little too much... and trying to throw back some of the balls being juggled!
...may there be mercy as I find a better balance.
...may there be mercy as I find a better balance.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
one for me
According to my sweet husband, I've made quilts for everyone in this solar system and then some... and it's about time that I made one for myself.
He's cute, but he tends to exaggerate a bit.
In spite of his exaggerations, he's right in that I've made a lot of things for other people. I've only made things for myself if it was for a particular class in order to learn a particular technique. I had not taken the same amount of time and care and love to plan a quilt for myself.
This afternoon, I finished the first quilt simply made with careful planning, designing and love for ME. It's wonderful and makes me smile.
The fabrics were mostly gifts, with a couple that I found to add into the mix. The black and white theme is what I'm changing my house to be... all black and white with my quilts, my husband's trains and our photographs to add color.
In this black and white quilt, there is a bit of purple sprinkled in. The purple speaks to me in many ways. The biggest heartspeak is because it was a gift from a dear friend.
When I wrap myself in this quilt, that purple reminds me that she sends big hugs to me... and that makes me happy.
...may there be mercy in the warmth of my quilt and my friends.
He's cute, but he tends to exaggerate a bit.
In spite of his exaggerations, he's right in that I've made a lot of things for other people. I've only made things for myself if it was for a particular class in order to learn a particular technique. I had not taken the same amount of time and care and love to plan a quilt for myself.
This afternoon, I finished the first quilt simply made with careful planning, designing and love for ME. It's wonderful and makes me smile.
The fabrics were mostly gifts, with a couple that I found to add into the mix. The black and white theme is what I'm changing my house to be... all black and white with my quilts, my husband's trains and our photographs to add color.
In this black and white quilt, there is a bit of purple sprinkled in. The purple speaks to me in many ways. The biggest heartspeak is because it was a gift from a dear friend.
When I wrap myself in this quilt, that purple reminds me that she sends big hugs to me... and that makes me happy.
...may there be mercy in the warmth of my quilt and my friends.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
3BT, weekend of celebration
1. sitting in front of the fireplace in our hotel room, late at night, sipping wine, laughing and talking with my sweet husband.
2. sitting in front of the fireplace in our hotel room, early morning, sipping coffee, looking at the water view, watching the gulls soar and hearing them calling.
3. holding hands, sharing hearts, twenty years, wow.
...may there be mercy in the beautiful things that make up our lives...
2. sitting in front of the fireplace in our hotel room, early morning, sipping coffee, looking at the water view, watching the gulls soar and hearing them calling.
3. holding hands, sharing hearts, twenty years, wow.
...may there be mercy in the beautiful things that make up our lives...
Friday, January 11, 2008
3BT... new year, new BT
Well, my blessed friends, it's a new year. We are going away for the weekend to celebrate that lovely thing of being married for 20 years.
My sweet husband deserves a medal or more for putting up with me for that long, but that's a whole 'nuther story that will never be told in this venue!
Tonight will be a quickie 3 Beautiful Things night and then we are gone.
1. my co-worker's 2 year old niece trying to say "see ya later" and how adorable it sounded as more of a "waiter, waiter" than anything else... and the fabulous grin that accompanied those sweet sounds. ( I really wanted to ask for coffee or dessert or french fries when she kept saying "waiter"!)
2. the way cool email from the hotel concierge when I told her that we are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary at her hotel and that we prefer wine to champagne... and how she totally JUMPED at providing wine instead for us. Not to mention the lovely congratulatory thoughts she expressed to us.
3. the hug from my favorite grocery clerk today when I gave her a rice bag I'd made. One of those simple, little things that take less than 5 minutes to make, but help much when the body is hurting. She injured her hip a few months back and has been limping... but she's been worried more about my neck pain than her own. That hug was so incredibly sweet.
...may there be mercy and we find beautiful things each day.
My sweet husband deserves a medal or more for putting up with me for that long, but that's a whole 'nuther story that will never be told in this venue!
Tonight will be a quickie 3 Beautiful Things night and then we are gone.
1. my co-worker's 2 year old niece trying to say "see ya later" and how adorable it sounded as more of a "waiter, waiter" than anything else... and the fabulous grin that accompanied those sweet sounds. ( I really wanted to ask for coffee or dessert or french fries when she kept saying "waiter"!)
2. the way cool email from the hotel concierge when I told her that we are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary at her hotel and that we prefer wine to champagne... and how she totally JUMPED at providing wine instead for us. Not to mention the lovely congratulatory thoughts she expressed to us.
3. the hug from my favorite grocery clerk today when I gave her a rice bag I'd made. One of those simple, little things that take less than 5 minutes to make, but help much when the body is hurting. She injured her hip a few months back and has been limping... but she's been worried more about my neck pain than her own. That hug was so incredibly sweet.
...may there be mercy and we find beautiful things each day.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
20 years
Tomorrow marks a special day for us... my sweet husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Wow!
It's actually pretty dang cool since at the time of our 10th anniversary we were so close to divorce that we never thought we'd make the 10 year and one day mark. God worked miracles and healing in both our hearts.
Tomorrow we will have a simple evening together. Probably go out to Johnny Carrino's, maybe stay home... we haven't decided yet. The bigger celebration will be in our going away for the weekend.
Nice man has planned a romantic getaway for us at a hotel. Wine tasting in the lobby. Fireplace in the room. Champagne and hand made chocolates. Dinner at a nice restaurant. Time together... blessed time together.
...may there be mercy as we celebrate and many more years together.
It's actually pretty dang cool since at the time of our 10th anniversary we were so close to divorce that we never thought we'd make the 10 year and one day mark. God worked miracles and healing in both our hearts.
Tomorrow we will have a simple evening together. Probably go out to Johnny Carrino's, maybe stay home... we haven't decided yet. The bigger celebration will be in our going away for the weekend.
Nice man has planned a romantic getaway for us at a hotel. Wine tasting in the lobby. Fireplace in the room. Champagne and hand made chocolates. Dinner at a nice restaurant. Time together... blessed time together.
...may there be mercy as we celebrate and many more years together.
Monday, December 31, 2007
happy new year!
May 2008 be filled with little blessings and small joys. Those lovely little things that add sparkle to normal and "boring" days.
...may there be mercy as we look forward to the new year.
...may there be mercy as we look forward to the new year.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
merry christmas to all
Merry Christmas!
May you find something today that feeds your soul and refreshes your spirit.
...may there be mercy as we find joy in the true meaning of Christmas.
May you find something today that feeds your soul and refreshes your spirit.
...may there be mercy as we find joy in the true meaning of Christmas.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
time to rest
Interesting that I'd say it's time to rest when everyone is gearing up for the last harried and hectic time of the holiday season. Stress abounds around me...
... and I'm on vacation!
Right now I could be totally stressed out about the fact that every single one of my family's Christmas gifts still sit in their respective bags. Unwrapped. In my not decorated for Christmas living room.
In Washington.
Not in San Diego where my they should sit, gaily wrapped, under Mama's Christmas tree.
I could be stressed out about that, but I'm not.
Another thing that could stress me out right now is that part about my not yet decorated for Christmas living room. But I'm not stressed about that either.
Have I moved into "Bah! Humbug!" land? Nope!
Have I shopped for the special meal items yet? Nope.
Have I shopped for my sweet husband's Christmas gift yet? Nope.
Have I planned anything special yet? Nope.
Normally this would make my blood pressure rise and my back hurt from the tension. Not this year.
Instead, I'm simply enjoying the Christmas Season vicariously. The herniated disc in my neck makes the actual physical doing of much of the stressful items simply impossible. So I'm enjoying the decorations in the places I go. I'm enjoying watching others do all the stressful things. I'm spending the time resting and enjoying being with my sweet husband.
Yep, we're on vacation together!
Originally we had planned to go away for the entire week. Something about the fact that my precious father-in-law is now 85 is holding us back. We want to spend time with him. We know each day that we have with him is a gift. We're taking time to enjoy each day's gift of him.
So instead of stressing, I'm focused on family and rest... and loving that those are wonderful gifts this Christmas.
...may there be mercy in our non-stressful celebrations.
... and I'm on vacation!
Right now I could be totally stressed out about the fact that every single one of my family's Christmas gifts still sit in their respective bags. Unwrapped. In my not decorated for Christmas living room.
In Washington.
Not in San Diego where my they should sit, gaily wrapped, under Mama's Christmas tree.
I could be stressed out about that, but I'm not.
Another thing that could stress me out right now is that part about my not yet decorated for Christmas living room. But I'm not stressed about that either.
Have I moved into "Bah! Humbug!" land? Nope!
Have I shopped for the special meal items yet? Nope.
Have I shopped for my sweet husband's Christmas gift yet? Nope.
Have I planned anything special yet? Nope.
Normally this would make my blood pressure rise and my back hurt from the tension. Not this year.
Instead, I'm simply enjoying the Christmas Season vicariously. The herniated disc in my neck makes the actual physical doing of much of the stressful items simply impossible. So I'm enjoying the decorations in the places I go. I'm enjoying watching others do all the stressful things. I'm spending the time resting and enjoying being with my sweet husband.
Yep, we're on vacation together!
Originally we had planned to go away for the entire week. Something about the fact that my precious father-in-law is now 85 is holding us back. We want to spend time with him. We know each day that we have with him is a gift. We're taking time to enjoy each day's gift of him.
So instead of stressing, I'm focused on family and rest... and loving that those are wonderful gifts this Christmas.
...may there be mercy in our non-stressful celebrations.
Friday, December 14, 2007
checking in
Just a quick check in so folks don't fret because if I go too long without a post I get emails! Love you guys!
Health: herniated disc in neck... big, major OWIE! To quote my sweet 85 year old father-in-law, it hurts like dammit! You know it's bad if I don't want to even attempt to quilt... and I don't. Had an MRI on Wednesday. Should have gotten results today, but doctor had a family emergency. Will get results next week.
Family: still need to finish writing up my travel log from San Diego, but everyone is okay. Sweet husband and I are looking forward to a week of vacation together over Christmas week!
Work: greatest Board of Directors! Gave us a generous bonus in spite of the fact we are at 1/3 the profits of last year. A lovely vote of confidence for the employees and a wonderful morale booster.
Holidays: yep, they are there! I've got a lot to say about the holidays and the "I got" syndrome. Later post will cover it.
...may there be mercy as we plow through "normal" during the busy-ness of December.
Health: herniated disc in neck... big, major OWIE! To quote my sweet 85 year old father-in-law, it hurts like dammit! You know it's bad if I don't want to even attempt to quilt... and I don't. Had an MRI on Wednesday. Should have gotten results today, but doctor had a family emergency. Will get results next week.
Family: still need to finish writing up my travel log from San Diego, but everyone is okay. Sweet husband and I are looking forward to a week of vacation together over Christmas week!
Work: greatest Board of Directors! Gave us a generous bonus in spite of the fact we are at 1/3 the profits of last year. A lovely vote of confidence for the employees and a wonderful morale booster.
Holidays: yep, they are there! I've got a lot to say about the holidays and the "I got" syndrome. Later post will cover it.
...may there be mercy as we plow through "normal" during the busy-ness of December.
Monday, December 03, 2007
back to routine
While I'm not completely "rested" right now, I am ready to face going back to work because wow... what a trip and vacation I had! Definitely soaked up Mama and my family and am so very glad that I got to go. At the same time, I so very much missed this man in my house! It's good to be home with him, getting back into my normal routine of daily life. Will try to give some highlights of the simple moments that always make for great memories tonight.
...may there be mercy in the normal routine and joy in the memory of family.
...may there be mercy in the normal routine and joy in the memory of family.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
family
Family... wow, the changes and the stuff that is still the same.
Mama. She's an ever constant. At the same time, she's getting older and it shows. I see such changes this visit that tell me those things we don't want to face. Oh her health is still good, surprisingly good for a woman just a few days away from 75. At the same time, visually she looks a lot older this trip. I notice that she has a bit of difficulty walking... the old "hitch in my git-along". Doctor tells her it is probably a pinched nerve and may be there for the rest of her life. She says it just will not be. I notice also that she is a little more forgetful, but that it's not an overly bad amount. She doesn't get confused, her mind is still sharp... thank God.
While I don't like to see her getting older, and when she does go it will rip a portion of my heart out... her aging process is actually normal and I am okay with that.
Big Brother. Wow... now this is the biggest change and the hardest for me to see. He's always been physically the strong one of the family. His body's betrayal in how it has changed makes me fight to hide tears from him. Thank heaven I have some good acting skills here. He has trouble turning his neck, his right arm won't lift past chest height, he walks with some difficulty - especially when tired. And he tires easily, actually taking a nap right now, mid-afternoon on his day off. In spite of it all, he fights hard and last week finally got cleared to go back to work. When he comes home, he is beyond exhausted. We used to have eating contests where we would make ourselves sick... and to see him eat only about 1/4 of what he normally eats (without a contest) is striking. Big brother is only 3 weeks older than my sweet husband... but now looks like he could be my husband's father. It's hard for me to see him this way, but at the same time, I am so very grateful to see him at all.
Brother #2. Haven't seen him yet because he lives in Los Angeles. He will be down tomorrow. Talked to him on the phone... he sounds the same as always and that makes me smile.
Brother #3. Our King of Drama. Yep, some things never change. He is still full of drama and a terrible con man. But his eyes are clear and he is drug free. That's really all I care about.
Little Sister. She turns 45 today. Her body has changed so much since her gastric bypass surgery. Of course the loss of 160 pounds will show dramatic changes on anyone, eh? The changes that concern me for her are the ones of the heart and spirit. Her last husband (divorce was final on 11/5) managed to kill any confidence she had. She gives the public appearance of confidence, but I see where it's an act. growing up in the same bedroom and having all those connections of being sisters will let me see what many will not. But... she is overwhelmed and thrilled with the quilt that I made for her. And we are talking much more than we have in the last 2 years since her now ex-husband is out of the picture.
Those are the difficult changes I see in my family. At the same time, we have been having a blast laughing and talking every moment I have been here. So much is good about this trip. But that is for another post. Mama is waking up from her nap and I am going to go soak up more of her.
...may there be mercy in the soaking up.
Mama. She's an ever constant. At the same time, she's getting older and it shows. I see such changes this visit that tell me those things we don't want to face. Oh her health is still good, surprisingly good for a woman just a few days away from 75. At the same time, visually she looks a lot older this trip. I notice that she has a bit of difficulty walking... the old "hitch in my git-along". Doctor tells her it is probably a pinched nerve and may be there for the rest of her life. She says it just will not be. I notice also that she is a little more forgetful, but that it's not an overly bad amount. She doesn't get confused, her mind is still sharp... thank God.
While I don't like to see her getting older, and when she does go it will rip a portion of my heart out... her aging process is actually normal and I am okay with that.
Big Brother. Wow... now this is the biggest change and the hardest for me to see. He's always been physically the strong one of the family. His body's betrayal in how it has changed makes me fight to hide tears from him. Thank heaven I have some good acting skills here. He has trouble turning his neck, his right arm won't lift past chest height, he walks with some difficulty - especially when tired. And he tires easily, actually taking a nap right now, mid-afternoon on his day off. In spite of it all, he fights hard and last week finally got cleared to go back to work. When he comes home, he is beyond exhausted. We used to have eating contests where we would make ourselves sick... and to see him eat only about 1/4 of what he normally eats (without a contest) is striking. Big brother is only 3 weeks older than my sweet husband... but now looks like he could be my husband's father. It's hard for me to see him this way, but at the same time, I am so very grateful to see him at all.
Brother #2. Haven't seen him yet because he lives in Los Angeles. He will be down tomorrow. Talked to him on the phone... he sounds the same as always and that makes me smile.
Brother #3. Our King of Drama. Yep, some things never change. He is still full of drama and a terrible con man. But his eyes are clear and he is drug free. That's really all I care about.
Little Sister. She turns 45 today. Her body has changed so much since her gastric bypass surgery. Of course the loss of 160 pounds will show dramatic changes on anyone, eh? The changes that concern me for her are the ones of the heart and spirit. Her last husband (divorce was final on 11/5) managed to kill any confidence she had. She gives the public appearance of confidence, but I see where it's an act. growing up in the same bedroom and having all those connections of being sisters will let me see what many will not. But... she is overwhelmed and thrilled with the quilt that I made for her. And we are talking much more than we have in the last 2 years since her now ex-husband is out of the picture.
Those are the difficult changes I see in my family. At the same time, we have been having a blast laughing and talking every moment I have been here. So much is good about this trip. But that is for another post. Mama is waking up from her nap and I am going to go soak up more of her.
...may there be mercy in the soaking up.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
family time
Wow... many changes have happened here. Some great, some harder to accept.
Like big brother's health and what his body allows now. More on that later, it's late.
Soaking up time with Mama.
...may there be mercy as we love up on one another here.
Like big brother's health and what his body allows now. More on that later, it's late.
Soaking up time with Mama.
...may there be mercy as we love up on one another here.
Monday, November 26, 2007
seeing family
I can hardly believe it's been 2 years since I've seen Mama and my family. Way too long!
Tomorrow I head down to San Diego to celebrate Mama's 75th birthday and my sister's 45th birthday. I can hardly wait for that first Mama hug!
If possible, I'll post a bit. If not, see y'all next week after I return.
...may there be mercy as I travel and love up on my family in person.
Tomorrow I head down to San Diego to celebrate Mama's 75th birthday and my sister's 45th birthday. I can hardly wait for that first Mama hug!
If possible, I'll post a bit. If not, see y'all next week after I return.
...may there be mercy as I travel and love up on my family in person.
3BT... the rest of that week!
Well we didn't have internet availability during the actual Thanksgiving weekend while we were in Portland... but I saved up!
Thanksgiving, 11/22:
1. safe travel and making good time while driving.
2. sunrise behind Mt. Rainier.
3. hugs from precious longtime friends and joy around their table with new friends since they invited other "strays" to join us.
Friday, 11/23:
1. laughing with SuziQOregon at our 5th Annual Day After Thanksgiving Breakfast.
2. visiting gorgeous wineries and the fun of winetastings.
3. sitting in a massage chair in the evening while watching a movie.
Saturday, 11/24:
1. watching our men doing guy-type activities and enjoying the simplicity of the fact that they are men.
2. the warmth of the vehicle after being outdoors in 29 degree weather for several hours.
3. barbequed steak for dinner... oh, yum!
Sunday, 11/25:
1. safe journey home without any traffic delays in the midst of many folk heading for home.
2. unpacking and getting the laundry almost completely done by bedtime.
3. holding hands with my sweet husband while we watched a movie and enjoyed a glass of wine together.
...may there be mercy and remembering to be thankful always.
Thanksgiving, 11/22:
1. safe travel and making good time while driving.
2. sunrise behind Mt. Rainier.
3. hugs from precious longtime friends and joy around their table with new friends since they invited other "strays" to join us.
Friday, 11/23:
1. laughing with SuziQOregon at our 5th Annual Day After Thanksgiving Breakfast.
2. visiting gorgeous wineries and the fun of winetastings.
3. sitting in a massage chair in the evening while watching a movie.
Saturday, 11/24:
1. watching our men doing guy-type activities and enjoying the simplicity of the fact that they are men.
2. the warmth of the vehicle after being outdoors in 29 degree weather for several hours.
3. barbequed steak for dinner... oh, yum!
Sunday, 11/25:
1. safe journey home without any traffic delays in the midst of many folk heading for home.
2. unpacking and getting the laundry almost completely done by bedtime.
3. holding hands with my sweet husband while we watched a movie and enjoyed a glass of wine together.
...may there be mercy and remembering to be thankful always.
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