Mercy on my day

wordless wednesday

2011-05-04T06:13:00.000-07:00

sunlit web

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be sure to say it

2011-04-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

As we bury my precious father-in-law today, I'm glad that I made sure to say the things that should be, and needed to be said while he was still living. While I can't get through saying them out loud this afternoon, this is what the Pastor will read for me. There is so much more that was said between us that I could write, but he already got to hear them.

Dad - What a gift to have spent the last 23 years as your extra daughter. In your last months, as you and I talked, I’m glad I got to say these things to you, but I need to say them again.

You taught me so much about what love really looks like. What a treasured gift that is for me.
After my own Daddy passed into heaven, you never tried to take his place in my heart, but you always filled the hole in that place with extra love as a good father should.
You taught me to enjoy the simplest things in life and to take joy in them. I’ll miss our Swan Reports and think happily of you each time I see them soaring overhead.
Red is still my favorite color, too.
We will continue to take care of each other with all the love we have.
You made me laugh each time we were together, even up to your last day. I loved your twinkle-in-the-eye grin.

I love you and miss you so much, but know that heaven is your glorious home now. We will see you in a little while. Find us a great spot for a good long talk in the sunshine.

...may there be mercy and comfort in knowing that we said it all...

2011-03-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

The chariot did swing low and carry Dad home today. His suffering is done. He is at peace in heaven. I'm sure he's starting the party himself.

Dad passed peacefully just before 4, his children surrounding him (love that even though I'm the daughter-in-law, I've always been one of his kids) with words of love and encouragement for his journey to the next life... the better life.

The Good Book does say "blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

I told a friend tonight that we feel this strange split personality thing going on. A part of us is so terribly sad that he is gone from us. At the same time, a part is rejoicing that he is not suffering and that he is in heaven. It's an odd feeling, I have to admit.

...may there be mercy and comfort in our grief...

final journey

2011-03-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

On vigil. Waiting is hard. He is comfortable. Coma. Just a matter of time now. Swing low sweet chariot. Soon please.

That's the text I sent out to a couple friends a few minutes ago.

My precious father in law is going home today.

...may there be mercy as we say good bye...

the road

2011-01-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

Last year I had good intentions. Good intentions to accomplish or at least get on the road to accomplishment for a number of things.

exercise 4-5 times a week

make at least 1 quilt per month

learn to knit

read the entire bible, cover to cover, as literature

have a massive celebration of turning 50

de-clutter my house

drop 20 pounds

have guests for dinner twice a month

blog more regularly

While I was able to accomplish a couple of these - the Man calls it the “50 celebrations of turning 50” and I did learn how to knit - the road to accomplishment for the rest of that list remains untraveled.

The first quarter of last year was great for traveling that road. I spent quite a bit of time quilting, the birthday celebrations began, I dropped a couple pounds, the de-cluttering began and then the Man got pneumonia and was in the hospital for a few days.

I tried to get back on the road after that, but it seemed that the road twisted, turned, and curved, almost like a bucking horse, to throw me off.

The road was completely lost to me when my precious father-in-law was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma and given only a couple months to live. My good intentions were tossed aside. Life condensed down to the really important stuff of taking care of the Man, his daddy and myself. Making sure that the things we needed to say were said, the things we needed to hear were heard.

All those things have been said and heard, now we just enjoy each moment with him, knowing those moments are winding down more rapidly each day as he gets weaker and weaker.

I still look toward the road, hoping to plant my feet firmly on it, but for now, it might just be that I can only locate the road. Walking down it will have to wait a little bit.

I know that the road waits for me, probably with a lot of additional turns meant to throw me. I am looking forward to stepping back on that road, still looking at the list from last year, and adding a few thoughts for this year.

...may there be mercy and hope in setting my feet back on the road...

savory sundays

2010-12-05T12:33:00.000-08:00

Am stealing a moment of normal in the chaos of living with hospice issues. Last night we had a couple friends over for a spur of the moment dinner. I've been wanting to try Pears Poached in Red Wine for some time now, and happened to have enough pears on hand. I always have wine on hand! This recipe turned out so tasty that I'll definitely do it again. Brew yourself a pot of really good coffee, even if it's decaf, and enjoy!

Pears Poached in Red Wine

4-6 pears, ripe, but still slightly firm

½ cup sugar

2 cups red wine, possibly more

1 cinnamon stick

1 tablespoon vanilla

1 shot grand marnier or orange liqueur

chocolate sauce

peel pears, leaving stem, and place in saucepan

sprinkle with sugar

cover with wine

add cinnamon stick

simmer over low heat 10-15 minutes - do not boil at a heavy rate or pears will get mushy

remove from heat, add vanilla and orange liqueur

let cool in the juice

Drizzle plate with chocolate, just a very little

remove core from bottom of pear with a melon baller and slice in half lengthwise

place halves in center of plate and spoon some sauce over

Notes:

I kept the remaining sauce to use on another dessert tonight…. way too yummy to waste!!!

For the wine, I used Campo de Borja Mosen Cleto (buy at Trader Joe’s, it’s the one with the “dusty” bottle.)

Other wine suggestions are: Zinfandel or Syrah

Next time I will probably halve the pears prior to poaching since it was kinda messy doing so after.

For the chocolate, use something really, really good and kinda thick, almost like a hot fudge type sauce. I used a pinot noir chocolate sauce that was spectacularly good.

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

big words

2010-12-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

In the last 6 weeks, we've been learning a lot of big words around our house.

pneumonia
MRI
pulmonologist
thorocentesis
malignancy
pleurodesis
mesothelioma
oncologist
prognosis
medicare
durable medical equipment
DNR
hospice

Some are words we've used before, some are new. Each one has an emotion attached to the new learning experience.

I hate that all these words apply to my precious father-in-law.

The progression has been swift. The changes in him are almost unbelievable. And as much as we want to stop this rollercoaster, there are no brakes on this ride. We are simply grateful that he has no pain yet. We hope for no pain ever.

We've been told our time is brief - 2 weeks to 2 months. That was 4 weeks ago. We are cherishing every moment with him, allowing him to live as normally as possible for as long as possible. He amazes me with his determination to keep on living while he still has breath.

Over the years, this man has taught me so much about life, living and love. Now he's showing me how to die with grace and peace.

My emotions are raw, but acceptance has come.

...may there be mercy and his life remain pain-free...

filling our time

2010-10-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

Once again, I'm knitting in the hospital. Waiting for a hospice meeting and for the Man to bring lunch. My precious father-in-law dozes much, so the knitting keeps my hands and mind occupied. I'm making a lot of progress on this project.

My heart is not making much progress on acceptance, but I fake it well in public. Being told it's just a few weeks is hard.

...may there be mercy and peace for each of us as his life unfolds...

knitting in the ER

2010-10-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

Once again I am grateful that my friend Patty has taught me to knit. Being in the ER with my precious father-in-law requires something that is calm and soothing to my emotions. When he is in pain, it shatters me.

And all the while he keeps his adorable sense of humor, cracking jokes with nurses, doctors, lab techs and us. He keeps living his life, no matter what.

We got a scary diagnosis earlier this week. Precious father-in-law has 3 tomors in his lungs and 2 on his liver. Most likely cancer. He had a liter of fluid drained off his lung and it seems to have come back. Not good.

If this is cancer, I recognize that I am so not ready to face the pain ahead of us. I don't care that he is 87, and I truly do know that he cannot live forever, I'm just not ready.

And we wait in the ER.

...may there be mercy and peace for each of us as we face our next steps in really living life...

savory sundays

2010-10-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

This week I started looking ahead to the Christmas season and gifts of food for neighbors and coworkers. Mama and I have several fun recipes that are simple and yummy. One of the more addicting choices is today's selection. Mama came up with this Glazed Walnuts recipe because she loves honey roasted nuts, but just couldn't justify spending so much tiny amounts of them. While it's not the same as honey roasted nuts, she was delighted with the outcome. I love these and have trouble keeping out of the gift boxes once they are set up! Enjoy!

Glazed Walnuts

4 cups shelled walnuts
4 large egg whites
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup melted butter

Preheat oven to 275

Beat egg whites with an electric mixer until they form soft peaks. Gradually beat in the brown sugar and bet until it is stiff and glossy. Stir in by hand the butter. Then stir in the nuts, tossing to coat all. Spread into an UNGREASED 9x13 cake pan. Bake for one hour till meringue is dry - stirring at 15 minute intervals to loosen the nuts. Cool in the pan on a wire rack. Store loosely covered at room temperature.

Notes:
- the oven temp is not a typo - it really is 275
- definitely do not grease your pan or your nuts will be ruined
- when you start the baking time, make sure to set timers for each 15 minute segment. It's really important to stir at these times. While the time passes, enjoy a cup of tea and a book if you can.
- this is fun for kids to join in the process - they get a kick out of how the nuts don't change and then suddenly they do.

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

wordless wednesday

2010-10-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

banyan tree

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savory sundays

2010-10-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

For many years, I worked with a lovely man named Jim. He was probably the kindest and most generous man I've ever known. Thoughtful and caring. Always brought us treats and beautifully wrapped Christmas gifts that were lovingly purchased with each recipient in mind. He was the office big brother and we all adored him. When he lost the battle with liver cancer, it was the loss of a family member to us.

In our office, we enjoy a good potluck. In honor of our Brother Jim, who adored a potluck, someone always makes his famous Crab Dip. This Crab Dip was a potluck tradition in the office and when we got it without a potluck attached, it was an extra special treat. One of the highest fat/calorie recipes, but oh, so delicious! Never a bit of leftover to take home either, dangit! Simple and wonderful... just like Jim. Enjoy!

Jim's Crab Dip

one brick of Philly cream cheese, softened
one cup of Best Foods Mayo (Hellman's in the south)
one can of crab - or use fresh crab if you have it
chopped dill pickle
minced onion
garlic powder

Mix well and let chill for a couple hours to let the flavors meld. Serve with ritz or other crackers you enjoy. "Real" potato chips are pretty tasty with this one, too.

Notes:
- never substitute another brand name for the cream cheese or mayo. Not the same taste at all and no one likes it near as much when it happens!
- everything in this recipe is "to taste". If you like more crab, add it! If you like only a tiny bit of chopped dill pickle, use only a little bit. I prefer double crab and an extra dash of garlic and onion in mine.
- don't use garlic salt. Between the crab and the crackers or chips, you don't want the extra salt.

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table..

wordless wednesday

2010-09-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

tiny mushrooms

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savory sundays

2010-09-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Years ago, Mama found a recipe for Cioppino that she thought sounded good. For the most part, when I describe this dish to friends as an Italian peasant fisherman's stew, they turn up their noses. Most of them get the thought of a fishy spaghetti in their heads. I know I did when it was first described to me. Wrong!!

This dish actually doesn't do well in descriptions, but one taste made a believer of me. This is my absolute favorite meal, bar none. The recipe is listed below with the variety of fish most folks use and that the original recipe listed. Definitely see the notes below for what makes this dish one that rates spectacular for our family.

When I'm in San Diego, Mama makes this special for me. The whole family comes to her house. We all put on bibs that are actually apron sized. Pour wine, dish up the Cioppino, break pieces of fresh, crusty bread. Lots of laughter, lots of family stories, lots of feeling like being in a Hollywood movie where they show the family around the table. Enjoy!

Cioppino
1/4 cup olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
4 stalks celery, thinly sliced
4 medium carrots, thinly sliced
6 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup chopped parsley
1 can (28 oz) solid pack tomatoes OR 4 large, fresh tomatoes, chopped
2 cans (8 oz each) tomato sauce
1 1/2 cups water or clam juice or combination
1 cup dry sherry
1 lemon, thinly sliced
1/2 tsp each basil, marjoram, oregano and thyme
salt & pepper to taste
1 1/2 lb. firm, white fish, cut into bite sized pieces (flounder, turbot, halibut)
1 lb. raw prawns or shrimp, in shell
2 lbs. clams or mussels in shell, well scrubbed
1-2 Dungeness, or 4-6 blue crabs, cooked, cleaned and cracked

Heat oil in large kettle or Dutch oven. Add vegetables. Saute until tender, about 10 minutes. Add remaining ingredients, except fish and shellfish. Simmer gently 1 1/2 hours. The broth will have the best flavor if it is prepared one day in advance. 20 minutes before serving, add fish and shellfish to simmering broth. Cover and cook 20 minutes. Discard any clams or mussels that have not opened. To serve, ladel some of each kind of fish into soup bowls. Top with broth. Make it easy on your guests and serve extra bowls to discard shells in.

From the original recipe notes: This popular West Coast dish of crab, shrim, clams and fish is ideal for informal entertaining. Provide each guest with a large bib. Serve with lots of crusty French bread, a tossed salad and fresh fruit for dessert. You may vary the fish according to what your local market offers.

Mama's notes:
-The original recipe called for 1 1/2 tsp of each of the spices, but Mama found it was far too much.
-Double the recipe and still only use this much in spices. Then taste to see if it needs more of any of them.
-Get the freshest bread possible and plenty of it. You want to dip it in the "sugo" as the broth is called by my Italian sister-in-law.
-Make sure the lemon is almost paper thin in slicing.
-Have a bunch of wet washcloths on hand instead of regular napkins. You'll thank me for this one.
-As to the fish, if you like all of these - or whatever other fish you find you would like to try - by all means, use them. But for our family, the ONLY seafood used is king crab legs, well cracked. If you're going to use crab legs, make sure to use king crab legs. Mama buys it a little at a time, when she sees the king crab legs on a good sale. She freezes them and when she has enough, then it's time to make Cioppino. By using only king crab legs, this becomes quite an upscale dish and one that makes everyone feel special.

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

home

2010-09-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

Cannot say how good it is to have the Man home from the hospital and us back to our normal routine. I think the most fun we had was changing the pain level chart to a boredom level chart on the whiteboard on the wall in his room.

The nurses thought it hilarious that it was boredom and not pain levels.

We have appointments with doc and with sleep study. Diabetic education appointment will come soon. Major lifestyle changes and learning curve already in the works.

Not to mention an exercise plan... oh, fun!

...may there be mercy and peace as we move forward...

creative comfort

2010-09-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

There is something deeply comforting in the act of knitting. Having something to do with my hands as we wait. The rhythmic click of the needles. The movement of the yarn in my fingers. The emerging pattern. Somehow this process comforts me.

This morning, I finished half a dishcloth while waiting for the Man to do his nuclear stress test. While waiting for test results, I started another and am already half done with it. By the time the results come, I could possibly be done with it.

I'm so glad Patty taught me how to knit. It was so much more than a simple birthday gift of yarn, a book and her time.

...may there be mercy and comfort as we wait for answers.

savory sundays

2010-09-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks like Savory Sundays is on a short break what with vacation last week and putting the Man into the hospital this morning. Stay tuned for next week's episode.

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table and in the quick recovery for the Man...

wordless wednesday

2010-09-01T06:23:00.000-07:00

haystack rock

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savory sundays

2010-08-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

Mama and I love our sweets! We also share the opinion that those little Andes Mints that restaurants used to give at the end of the meal were awfully yummy. One day, Mama decided that those little mints were too costly to buy and modified a fudge recipe to make her own. Everyone we know loves this Layered Mint Fudge, including the Man who laughingly will ask me to make him "Green Stuff". Because of the simplicity of the recipe and the enjoyment of the recipients, we give batches of this as gifts at Christmastime. Enjoy!

Layered Mint Fudge (aka Green Stuff)
12 oz semi sweet chocolate chips
1 can Eagle brand sweetened condensed milk
2 Tblsp vanilla
6 oz white chocolate chips
1 Tblsp peppermint extract
few drops green food coloring

Line an 8-9 inch square pan with wax paper. Then, in a double boiler, melt chocolate chips with 1 cup of the sweetened condensed milk, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla. Spread 1/2 of the mixture into the square pan and chill 10 minutes in the refrigerator. **Keep remaining mix at room temperature! In a double boiler, melt white chocolate chips with the remaining sweetened condensed milk, stirring until smooth. Remove from heat and stir in the peppermint extract, then the green food color until it is the color you like. Spread onto the chilled chocolate layer and chill 10 minutes. Spread the remaining chocolate mixture onto the mint layer and chill 2 hours or until firm. Turn onto a cutting board and peel off wax paper. Cut into small squares. Store loosely covered at room temperature.

Notes: Make sure to use wax paper in your pan. The cleanup is a nightmare if you don't! Also, cut the fudge into small squares - it's really rich!

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

wordless wednesday

2010-08-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

gray beach day

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wordless wednesday

2010-08-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

call of the sea

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savory sundays

2010-08-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I love a great appetizer. Sometimes I prefer to make my dinner out of a couple that really spark my tastebuds, which makes the Man a little crazy. He doesn't feel like that's a "real" meal. Like Clara in the old commercials, he wants to say, "where's the beef?" I usually tell him that it's in the leftovers in the fridge - and we both get fed.

This recipe is one that was introduced into my life about 30 years ago. It's very simple, which I love. It's also kinda ugly looking, but tastes fantastic. Enjoy!

Brocolli Dip
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms
1 cup minced onion
butter for sauteing
2 cans Campbell's cream of mushroom soup (don't substitute another brand!)
2 packages frozen, chopped brocolli - do not thaw
1 8 oz cup Kaukauna brand spreadable sharp cheese
1 8 oz cup Kaukauna brand spreadable garlic cheese
dash or two of tobasco sauce
dash or two of worchestershire
salt & pepper to taste

Saute mushrooms in butter, set aside. Saute onions in butter. Add soup, still frozen brocolli and cheese foods. Season with tobasco and worchestershire to taste. Cook 20 minutes - stirring occasionally. Add saute'd mushrooms. Serve warm with chips, bread chunks or crackers.

Notes:
1. If you can't find the garlic cheese, substitute a 2nd sharp cheese and add a little garlic salt in place of the regular salt.
2. This is really lovely in a bread bowl.

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

wordless wednesday

2010-08-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

birch trees

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savory sundays

2010-08-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

Mama makes all her own salad dressings. She hates to spend extra money on something so simple. She doesn't like all the foo-foo dressings, just give her the old standbys. Since it's summer and salads are on most folks menus, here are a couple of her favorites. Just mix everything in a bowl for either recipe and refrigerate for about 2 hours prior to eating. Enjoy!

Catalina Dressing:
2/3 cup ketchup
1/2 cup sugar, or more (to your taste)
2/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
sprinkle of salt
1-2 cloves garlic - crushed

Ranch Dressing:
1 cup Best Foods mayonnaise
1 cup buttermilk
2 Tbsp green onion
1/4 tsp onion powder
2 tsp minced parsley
1/4 tsp garlic powder or 1 clove minced garlic
1/8 tsp cayenne
1/4 tsp salt
black pepper

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table.

wordless wednesday

2010-08-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

reflections

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savory sundays

2010-08-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

We are away at a photography class this weekend, so this edition of savory sundays is going to be delayed - probably for a week. If we get home and unpacked early enough, I might get back here with something yummy to share.

...may there be mercy in our travels and in the breaking of bread at your table.

wordless wednesday

2010-07-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

broken shell

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savory sundays

2010-07-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

One of the things I loved best growing up - Mama's Lemon Cream Pie. It's got just the right sweet/slightly tart flavor mix going on.

Most folks would call this one a Lemon Meringue, but Mama never has. A couple months ago, I finally asked her why. Apparently she's talking about the filling, not the topping. Yep, she's right, this is definitely a Lemon Cream Pie. Enjoy!

Mama’s Lemon Cream Pie

Ingredients:

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup flour

1/4 tsp salt

1.5 cups milk

2 eggs separated (yolks will be used first, whites later)

1/3 cup lemon juice

1 tsp grated lemon rind

1 tblsp butter

baked 8 inch pie shell

1/4 cup sugar

Directions:

Mix 1 cup sugar with flour and salt in saucepan.

Stir in milk gradulally until smooth.

Cook slowly over direct heat, stirring constantly until mixture boils and thickens.

Slowly stir a little of the hot mixture into beaten egg yolks and return yolks to pan.

Cook 2 minutes longer, stirring constantly.

Remove from heat and stir inlemon juice and ring, gradually, in small portions, mixing well after each addition.

Stir in butter.

Pour into cooled pie shell, then cool.

After cooled:

Beat egg whites until stiff and then gradually beat in the 1/4 cup sugar.

Beat until thick and smooth.

Pile lightly and quickly over pie, being sure to touch the edge of the crust all around.

Bake in a 350 degree oven for 12-15 minutes - until golden brown

Cool on a cake rack before serving

Notes:

Mama makes 4 of these at a time so she doesn't have to do it 2 days in a row because we always want another piece of this pie for breakfast the next day. Also, Mama never keeps this one in the fridge. She doesn’t like the little drops of condensation that form on the top of the meringue. Neither do I. Use your own judgment... I take no responsibility for your food handling skills!

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads.

wordless wednesday

2010-07-21T06:20:00.001-07:00

learning from elders

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savory sundays

2010-07-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

During the summertime, I still love a good chocolate dessert, but don't want to heat up my house by baking... and I really don't like cake. Mama's recipe for these cookies is the best solution. Fast, easy, inexpensive, comfort food and yummy - not to mention no baking!

When I was a little girl, Mama used to make these cookies while I was getting ready for school. They are so fast and easy that she could put them in our lunches for that same day. She always says that these cookies are much more like a candy. The recipe is written out exactly as she said it... and when I read it, I can hear her voice describing the process. It makes me smile. Enjoy!

Top of the Stove Cookies

2 cups sugar

1/4 cup cocoa

1 cube butter

half cup milk

salt

mix in a big heavy sauce pan or stock pot, making sure your pot is big enough to add lots of oatmeal later
bring to rolling boil - must be rolling boil
boil for 1 minute - do not stir at this time!

take off stove and add:

1/2 cup pbutter
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups quick cooking oatmeal

plop onto foil quickly using double spoons

Notes:

if still little shiny, it's just right.

if you double the recipe, cook about 15 - 30 seconds extra

For more recipes and great cooking stuff, check out the Weekend Cooking posts at Beth Fish Reads. Pretty cool stuff there!

...may there be mercy at the breaking of bread at your table...

late wordless wednesday

2010-07-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

native and city

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quilt therapy

2010-07-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

Some days I just need to quilt. Really. Need. To. Quilt.

It's great therapy for me. Time spent thinking about the person - known or unknown - who will be the recipient of the quilt I'm making. Prayer time. Time to sing to whatever music is playing. Time to listen to an audio book.

Sometimes it's just time for me, doing something I totally enjoy, not taking care of anyone else.

I got a little of this time today. Not as much as I wanted, but it was really good for me. In the process, I realized that it's been almost 3 months since I've had time to quilt. Far too long! That will change.

...may there be mercy in creative therapy.

savory sundays

2010-07-11T08:21:00.000-07:00

This is a quick and easy recipe that goes well with many main courses. A really nice change from rice or potato dishes. Not to mention it doesn't heat up the kitchen too much in summer. Enjoy!

Basil Parmesan Orzo

Ingredients:
2 T butter
1 cup uncooked orzo
1 can chicken broth/stock
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese (don't use Kraft in the green can!! Get some from the deli section of your grocery or grate it fresh)
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
salt and pepper to taste
2 T chopped fresh basil, plus 2-3 sprigs - for garnish,

Directions:
1. Melt butter in heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Stir in orzo and saute until lightly browned.
2. Stir in chicken stock and bring to boil.
3. Cover and reduce heat. Simmer until orzo is tender and liquid is absorbed, about 15-20 minutes.
4. Mix in parmesan cheese and basil. Season with salt and pepper.
5. Transfer to shallow bowl and garnish with remaining chopped basil and sprigs.

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

wordless wednesday

2010-07-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

st louis arch

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savory sundays

2010-07-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

This is a recipe I found and doctored a bit until it was what we wanted. Whatever you do, do NOT drench the meat in bbq sauce! Just drizzle it to enhance the flavor... this meat turns out too yummy!

Barbecued Shredded Beef

Ingredients:
3 pounds beef roast
2 onions, chopped
2 (12 fluid ounce) cans or bottles beer - (we used killian's red)
6 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
2 teaspoons liquid smoke flavoring
2 teaspoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons ground black pepper
salt to taste
1 (18 ounce) bottle barbecue sauce
Good onion buns

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees (135 degrees C).
2. Place roast in a large roasting pan and scatter chopped onions over.
3. In a large bowl, combine Worcestershire sauce, liquid smoke, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Pour in beer, stir and add to roasting pan.
4. Cover and cook in oven at 275 degrees F (135 degrees C) for 4 to 5 hours.
5. When meat is cooked, shred meat with 2 forks.
6. toast the onion buns and put a generous helping of meat on 'em.
7. drizzle with bbq sauce

(note: I have done this one in the crock pot and it comes out well)

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

wordless wednesday

2010-06-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

fireworks

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in the mirror

2010-06-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a week of looking into the mirror that reflects my heart and seeing just how much I am not the person I want to be - or thought I was.

... may there be mercy in the growth that's coming...

savory sundays

2010-06-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

My friend, Jenna, over at A Light Inside has a cool blog. One of the fun things she does is called Tasty Tuesdays. Her recipes are yummy and simply reading them will always make me hungry. I've decided to take a page from her story, (pun intended since she is an author and I'm eagerly anticipating her publication date!), and begin with my own weekly recipe.

Of course, add to that the fact that Mama and Daddy had a restaurant all my growing up years. I keep asking Mama how they made something. There are bits of paper with recipes scratched on 'em in so many places in this house! This will help me to transcribe those notes into a more useable format.

I hope you enjoy Savory Sundays. Let me know if you try any recipe - and your honest opinion. I really do want to know if your family liked it or not!

Pork Stroganoff

Ingredients:

4 (1 1/4 inch) thick pork chops (boneless will work nicely if you prefer)

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 onion, thinly sliced

1/4 pound fresh mushrooms, sliced

1/4 cup water

2 teaspoons prepared mustard

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup sour cream

2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley, for garnish

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook chops until well browned on both sides. Remove chops and set aside.

2. Add onion and mushrooms to the skillet and cook until tender, stirring occasionally. Return chops to skillet. Add water, mustard and salt. Raise heat to high and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer for 1 hour.

3. Remove chops to a warm platter. Into skillet add sour cream and heat through (do not boil). Pour sauce over pork chops. Garnish with parsley and serve.

...may there be mercy in the breaking of bread at your table...

wordless wednesday

2010-06-23T06:33:00.000-07:00

our favorite train

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saturday ramblings

2010-06-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning, waiting for the Man to finish his shower so we can go do fun stuff together. Thought I'd drop a few words here. Nothing important, just a few rambles to get me back on the blogging mode a little.

on turning 50: way cool! I've been blessed to have friends and family who all wanted to celebrate this milestone with me. So much that my celebrations began the last weekend in March and ended with a trip to San Diego the first week of June. Yes, the entire point of the trip to San Diego was for me to be spoiled beyond belief by Mama. It works every time. In between were parties, lunches, weekend getaways, photography classes, dinners and more. It's been amazing fun!

on work: economy still isn't good enough for us to get back to our normal 40-hour work week. Am hoping that this reduced hours thing only lasts this year.

on losses: a dear friend lost her beloved husband last week. He was only 54 and a wonderful man. I've spent a lot of time talking with her as she deals with her grief and the overwhelming sense of the rest of her life. She told me the best advice given from anyone came from me: "Don't look at the rest of your life. Don't look at the year, the month or the week. Don't even look at the hour ahead. Right now you only have to deal with the next 5 minutes. You can manage 5 minutes at a time. When that 5 minutes is up, deal with the next 5 minutes." She's dealing with life in this way for now. When she can, she will take on 10 minute increments.

on the Man: am so thankful he is all healed up from his adventures in the medical world in May. Between a fall down a flight of stairs, hitting his head and a nasty bout with pneumonia, he scared me quite a bit. Thankfully the fall ended up with a minor whiplash that healed quickly. Thankfully the pneumonia cleared. Oh, and then there was the accident last week. Yep, he got rear-ended while driving our truck. Truck is still in the truck hospital, but is being fixed. The young man who hit him has great insurance and they are being extremely reasonable and kind to us. Again, no injury to the Man makes me happy.

on family: it's hard to see Mama aging, but age she must. Despite that, she's doing very well for a 77year-old woman. My sister is doing spectacularly well, which makes me so very happy. She's finally learning how to be herself and that she's a beautiful person. My brothers... well, yeah, they are my brothers. Big brother is showing the ravages of his major illness that should have killed him. He still works, but his body shows many changes from the strong and healthy big brother in my head. Middle brother is still absolutely crazy, silly, and has learned next to nothing since his heart attack and bypass surgery. Youngest brother breaks my heart. Heroin. Nuff said.

on quilting: haven't had enough time to do much since the weekend with Kim at the beach. But I've been planning and have some fun projects lined up. Not to mention new gorgeous fabrics!

on knitting: a dear friend gave me a coupon for knitting lessons with her! I mentioned that I might like to learn to knit one evening while at her home. When my birthday rolled around, there was a gift of a knitting book, some yarn and her time. Can hardly wait to cash in that coupon!

on camera time: definitely planning some serious camera time this summer. Between Mama and some friends, I was given the gift of a serious one-on-one class with an award winning photographer. Wow!!! Another item on my can hardly wait list!

...may there be mercy on my family, my friends, the Man and in my ramblings...

belated wordless wednesday

2010-06-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

balance

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wordless wednesday

2010-06-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

under the waterfall

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wordless wednesday

2010-06-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

draped peacock tail

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wordless wednesday

2010-05-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

driftwood on beach

photo ©auntie-c

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full size.
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time with friends

2010-05-23T18:18:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a gorgeous mountain lodge with a nice glass of wine and a few good friends, lots of laughter and great conversation... lovely, lovely.

My precious friend from Florida, Melissa, and her delightful husband Tom, decided to come here to the PNW for their vacation. Juli, Carrie, Marla and I got to join them for a long weekend in this amazing cabin near Leavenworth. Since it is Carrie's anniversary weekend, not to mention it would be nice for Tom not to be the lone man here, her husband, Darren, joined in the party.

This a a great mix of folks with whom to have total fun.

We have enjoyed great food and wines, laughed until we cried, talked about more serious issues until we had moments of clarity and everything in between. And of course, 7 people, 6 laptops, 4 iPhones, 3 blackberries, 5 cameras. At times we have been all sitting in the same room, each with our respective feet up and each one on a laptop while conversation flies throughout the room.

It's been awesome fun!!

It's also been so very good for me personally.

These friends allow me to be exactly who I am without censoring myself in any way. We may not agree completely on religion, politics or other issues, but there is a level of love that surpasses those differences.

...may there be mercy in the joy my friends bring to my life.

joining the wordless wednesday fun

2010-05-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

poster a museum of flight

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This is the learning post for how to do this... thanks SuziQOregon!!

almost there!

2010-05-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

In just a shade over 2 hours, I will reach the half-century mark.

50. Years. Old.

AWESOME!!!

If I didn't have to get up so early, I'd stay up till midnight just for the fun of it.

...may there be mercy and joy in the celebrations as they continue!

fruits of our labors

2010-04-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

The fruit of our labors indeed. After 3 days of quilting at the beach with my friend Kim, we had a ton of finished projects to show for all our work. The picture above is of the pool table covered with all the stuff we had done.

We each took several unfinished projects that were clogging up our creative process. It felt great to get 'em all do

ne!

Here are some other shots of the individual items:

Pillowcases that Kim made for her baseball loving son:

Placemats I made for a friend:

Pillows I made for my sofa:

More pictures will follow as I find 'em.

...may there be mercy on our creative processes...

embracing

2010-01-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

Wow... it's been way too long since I've been here. All the usual reasons and issues apply - stress, work, health, family, blah, blah, blah. Really it's just life happening.

Since change is unavoidable, and life keeps happening, I'm deliberately choosing to embrace changes and life this year.

Some of the changes to be embraced:

-turning 50 in the most healthy way possible (actually really think this one is cool!)

-planning my week ahead each Sunday - in writing. (food, time, chores, time to quilt, etc)

-regular exercise (oh...mercy!)

-reduction in work hours and income (economic downturn strikes again, eh?)

-returning to a joyous outlook

-managing stress in positive ways

It will be interesting to see how these changes actually look in comparison to previous processes. Lots of room for learning since I didn't get zapped by perfection last night. Darn!

...may there be mercy in the lessons of embracing and change.

plans change, life happens

2009-05-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

Life happens and plans change. We got word during the road trip that Mama has cancer. Trip has been cut short and we are heading home. Spent the last 2 days driving, driving, driving and are in Kennewick, WA tonight.

After today's long drive, during which we talked through our emotions, cried, and came to initial terms with this, our exhaustion level is too high. Mama said to stop for a day and go to a couple wineries since we are in the area.

I've always been a good girl and done what Mama says.

...may there be mercy and healing for my precious Mama.

road trip

2009-05-26T20:18:00.001-07:00

Am currently on a road trip with my sweet husband. We have already traveled almost 2000 miles!!

Most of this trip is in Colorado, chasing the wild steam train. But we've found a winery or two, not to mention the odd fabric store.

More after we get home!

...may there be traveling mercies...

ramblings

2009-04-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

A few rambling thoughts...

herniated disk in back = owie. big, major, want-it-gone-right-the-hell-now owie.

brother #2 massive heart attack followed by quad-bypass surgery = wishing to be with family in san diego. big, major, wishing-to-be-there. (really glad he's doing well in his recovery now.)

sunshine days = happier spirit. big, major, happier spirit. yay.

...may there be mercy in my ramblings.

same sweet smile

2009-03-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

Each time I see her, she has the same sweet, "lights up the room" smile and a killer hug that makes you feel like you are the most important person ever.

Unfortunately she's already moved from cane, to walker to wheelchair. Hard to see such quick progression in just 7 weeks. But, as we were told today, the familial type of ALS moves quicker than the sporadic type. There isn't any prognosis of specific time frames, but it was said clearly that this is moving quickly. She may move from a bi-pap machine to an a-pap soon.

Today a large group met to join forces for practical support and help for the family. Meals, household help and social times are all a part of the needs being met for this precious family. With the number of folks there willing to help, it's going to be a harder task to wait one's turn than to get the help needed.

Hallelujah! This will allow them to spend their now limited family time as a family, making precious memories.

My emotions are kind of shot, but it is okay. It's the reality of it, right in your face and right now, that really hits hard. In my day to day normal life, I can easily forget the major issues others may be facing. But when I see her, it all comes home again that she is going to die from this.

I gave her an extra hug today... but to be honest, it was selfishly for me.

...may there be mercy and time for more extra hugs - for me and most importantly, for her family.

clutter busting

2009-02-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

clutter busting weekend has helped me to sort out my emotions.

...may there be mercy and peace for us all.

hold us close

2009-02-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

She put on her sweet smile and said, "I have Lou Gehrig's disease." As she said it, I saw the deep pain in her husband's eyes.

They were in my office today to sign some papers, these friends of mine. And with those words, spoken with a lovely hope behind them, she shifted my thinking about life... again.

No, I don't have any more answers now. It's only been a couple hours. Quite frankly, I'm still reeling from the shock and throwing a massive temper tantrum at God. Thankfully, he's treating me like an overstressed 2-year-old and just holding me close while I rail, catching my tears until I tire and allow his comfort in.

...may there be mercy and grace to support my friends however they need.

UAQ

2009-01-19T12:28:00.000-08:00

Poor little Ugly Ass Quilt. It's become the Charlie Brown Christmas tree in my heart.

I still think it's totally ugly, but I feel so sorry for it that I am finally finishing it today. Well at least the piecing part of it. I'll take it to Kim's in the next couple weeks with some other (prettier) quilts to do the quilting on her long-arm machine.

...may there be mercy and the UAQ be a much loved treasure for the one who loved these fabrics.

happy new year!

2008-12-31T21:53:00.000-08:00

...may there be mercy and moments of great joy for each of us this new year.

merry christmas

2008-12-25T12:35:00.000-08:00

...may there be mercy and joy in your celebrations.

quick thoughts

2008-11-29T18:49:00.000-08:00

Quick thoughts for this evening.

Kim's party: huge success. Huge. In spite of tacky and rude people. I let all that go and just celebrated my friend and the fact she was well enough to enjoy her party. Everyone had a great time.

Thanksgiving: fun time in spite of the change in plans. We did not go to Portland as is our usual custom. Our friend's son is deployed and the daughter-in-law is far too pregnant to travel that far and also chase her 18-month-old daughter. So we met at the daughter-in-law's house and brought the party to her. We did all the cooking and cleanup, but there was much love and laughter. It was good.

UAQ: thanks to the ladies at Kim's party, I got a solution to the UAQ and am hoping to finish it soon. It will always be the UAQ in my eyes, but at least it will be the completed UAQ!

Like I said, it's quick tonight. I want some of our usual Saturday night "man, movie and wine" time.

...may there be mercy and joy in the quick moments of life.

tacky and rude

2008-11-18T21:02:00.000-08:00

So... I'm planning a birthday party for Kim. It's going to be Saturday. In spite of the fact she's been so sick, she wants a group of quilters to get together and spend the day quilting together. Fun idea, right?

The local quilt shop has recently expanded and added a nice classroom. In anticipation of this room being used - and in the thought of renting it out for fun events like this - until the end of the year, the owner is letting clients "rent" the room at no charge. Cool! Room holds 10 people, has cutting stations set up, ironing stations set up and a tiny kitchen area. Perfect for an all day quilting party with lots of great munchies - a continental breakfast, snacks, lunch and a special birthday sweet treat for Kim. Brownies being her favorite, I've been planning on what types to make.

Unfortunately, sometimes people are thoughtless, rude and tacky.

Invitations went out with a request for an RSVP by Saturday the 15th... last Saturday, in fact. Heard from most folks by Sunday that they would come. Cool!

Except for that person who said, "can I invite this other person? She feels like she is close to Kim and would like to come." Huh? Now when I have been invited to a party, I have always been appreciative of the invitation and given my answer without asking to invite others. Especially when there will be food that must be prepared for a group! My mama always taught me that it would be tacky to ask if I could bring someone if the invitation did not specifically say that I could.

And there is that other little mean thought in my head that the person feels close to Kim... but Kim apparently doesn't feel quite as close or she would have been on that invitation list, eh?

Oh, and then there is the other person who assumed that because the invitation was addressed to her partner, she is invited also... and she rather rudely braced me on the issue today on the phone. I didn't exclude her because of her status as the "husband" in the relationship. I excluded her because I was not given her name on the invitation list - because Kim doesn't like her and she does not quilt.

Why would you want to force your way into a quilting party if you don't quilt? I understand she tends to take over any gathering and make it all about herself instead of the actual reason for the gathering. Ugh!

Then there are those who have been calling Kim to invite others to her party... when the invitations clearly state that I am the hostess and contact person. I mean, really, the party is FOR Kim, not being given BY Kim. Why the heck are you calling her?? Sheesh!

So I'm in a crappy mood now because my friend has been so ill and we have been so looking forward to her party... and there are a few people who are being thoughtless and rude and who may take over the party and make it about them instead of Kim. And I'm upset because Kim is disappointed already by her friends.

It was supposed to be a joyous celebration of our friendship with Kim. Now I just want it over.

But I have to get all the extra food prepped first.

...may there be mercy and joy in spite of tacky.

still concerned, but progress

2008-11-17T06:24:00.000-08:00

A quickie post before work. Talked to Kim. Friday they popped her butt back into the hospital and drained off an equal amount of fluid from her lungs as the first time. She still doesn't have any answers, but her doctor appointment is today.

If they do not have a treatment plan that will work and a specific cause, she is going to be heading down to the University of Washington Medical Center.

I'm so relieved they have that plan in place!

...may there be mercy and some answers soon.

very concerned

2008-11-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

Kim has had a return of the fluid on both heart and lungs... and now has pneumonia on top of it all. I'm not happy about this and, quite frankly, am very concerned.

...may there be mercy and healing for my dear friend.

quick rambles

2008-11-01T08:09:00.001-07:00

Just a couple quick rambling thoughts for this Saturday morning.

Boeing: we're heading out to do the contract vote in the next 10 minutes. At the end of today, we will know if it got approved. If it goes as we think and is approved, my sweet husband will go back to work on Monday.

My work: after a high-stress day yesterday, it was sweet to come home with no one laid off and no pay cuts for staff. Hallelujah!!! Well, there was that pay cut that comes from our office benefit package that - for the first time ever - asked staff to pay 30% of the premium for spouse/dependent medical insurance. Company still pays 70% of that premium and 100% of the premium for the employee. Since my sweet husband has medical insurance available at his work, it does not affect our income at all. We elected to decline coverage at my office for him.

Friends: have spent this week visiting friends in the hospital. Nancy had a tumor removed. They could not determine pre-surgery if it was on the kidney or intestine, so they removed a small portion of her kidney and a small portion of her intestine. Ended up being in the intestine and benign. Hallelujah! She took a while to stop having post-surgical complications, but went home yesterday and will be fine. Anytime they tell you that you do not have cancer, you will be fine!

Kim has been very ill. She had fluid around her heart and on (not in) her lungs. She was admitted to the hospital in the "progressive care" unit on Tuesday. Progressive Care is one step down from Critical Care. Yikes! Wednesday they removed almost a gallon of fluid from her lungs. It was amazing the difference in her color and breathing that night. Thursday they removed about 12 oz of fluid from her heart. This is a lot since there should only be about 2 tablespoons worth there. Again, her color and breathing were dramatically changed... but they moved her to Critical Care post-procedure. Scared the daylights out of me until I found out that this is normal protocol for this procedure. She was better last night, but really pissed off that she was still in the hospital. They will do another couple tests today and hopefully have final determination of the underlying causes for her. Once they know, she can go home.

Okay, those weren't such quick rambles and now I've got to run so we can play a bit today.

...may there be mercy and quick healing for my dear friends - and a calm, less-stressful week next week!

2008-10-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

It really all boiled down to this one question: would you sign an employment contract that clearly stated your employer could - at any time and for any reason - give away your job to someone who did not even work at your place of employment? (It's called outsourcing.)

Of course you wouldn't.

Sadly, the media did not talk much about this part of the Boeing strike. They consistently reported the strike as "issues of wages and medical benefits."

Thanks much, media. Would you have signed that contract with your station?

Yes, negotiating a good financial and benefit package was important. It is in any contract negotiation. But this time it was more important to negotiate the actual jobs, the job security issue and keeping those jobs for employees who actually work for the company. The folks who made them so very profitable. Oh, yeah, those guys.

Thanks to the media almost non-reporting of this most important part of the reason for the strike, I've had 53 days of verbal abuse by a boatload of folks.

No, I don't work at Boeing. Never have. But my sweet husband does. And yes, he has been on strike for 53 days and counting.

The most recent abusive comment to me: You guys are just greedy, selfish bastards! You should be grateful to have any job at any pay in this economy. What gives you the right to strike against your employer? Do you realize how many people are losing their jobs and taking cuts in pay? Greedy sons of...

Well, you get the general drift of that one. It went on. Sadly, it was another comment from yet another friend. I didn't even respond. I was too tired of being the punching bag for the anger of those who didn't care to find out if there was another side of the story.

Thanks much, media.

For those who don't know, yes. I actually do understand all too well the fear behind those comments. Come Friday, my own job may be cut or my pay cut. We will find out at a meeting that day. With my health, the most important part of everything is the issue of health insurance availability. Currently our insurance is held with my job, so it's been pretty dang scary at times. But I am trusting that God will provide for our needs. It's what I believe. It's what I'm living.

As of last night, a tentative agreement has been reached between the Boeing Company and the Machinists Union. In preliminary information, it's looking pretty dang good for both sides. As soon as we get a full copy, we'll read the fine print to be sure. But from all the reports, it's looking like it will be a winner.

It's been interesting lately. A week or so ago, I moved into "refuse to discuss" and self protective mode. I know people are simply scared and taking it out on me. I'm trying to avoid damaged relationships, so I won't talk about it with anyone now. Hoping that once the guys go back to work, people will focus on something else and we can move past the hurtful things said.

...may there be mercy and a grace in forgiveness.

lovely weekend

2008-10-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

We're just home from the Fall Color Festival. Too bad there wasn't any color yet!! In about 2-3 weeks, the color will be glorious. Today, the day was glorious, but the color was just starting to turn. Oh well, we had a fun time anyway.

The plan was to take our cameras, pick up a buddy from work and go enjoy this festival. Since the color wasn't cooperative, we never got our cameras out of the trunk. Big disappointment on that, because I really wanted some picture taking time today.

I'm embarrassed to admit that we've never visited the local wineries, with the exception of the one that is across the street from my friend's house - and that one only when they have had events raising money for breast cancer research.

The first winery, Eagle Haven, is the closest on the drive upriver. It's a young winery, only open since 2004. The tasting room is cozy and inviting and pretty. The staff is just plain fun. Obviously they enjoy people and are knowledgeable about wine - in spite of the fact that the employee today in the tasting room really is a whiskey drinker! We laughed with her, learned a little about this winery and enjoyed a relaxed and fun tasting. This is the first year they are selling a Pinot Noir. It's young, so it's a little on the light side rather than full bodied, but it does show they have potential. The Sangiovese was lovely and I brought a bottle of that home. I will go back there again.

The second winery, Challenger Ridge, is in a pretty setting overlooking the river. The tasting room is very pretty, however it's quite dark and has the feel of a smoky jazz bar with a slightly odd twist of being back-woodsy. We were told they are planning for the future in that they want to become a destination winery with a bed and breakfast, restaurant, etc. Great plan! We need a destination winery.

It's too bad that we felt they are a bit stingy! The person running the tasting room had a great personality, but gave very small tastes - small enough that I didn't feel anyone could really get a sense of what their wines actually taste like. I've never seen a winery that only poured enough to show a little bit of color in the bottom of the glass... really just wetting the glass and a sip more. I told my sweet husband that the two sips worth of wine were not real sips, just "wet your lips" sips. Not enough to taste the wine and determine if I liked it.

The other thing she did that turned us off was that she raved and raved about how their Cabernet Sauvignon is wonderful, the best seller, etc. - but oh, sorry, "we're not tasting that one today." Huh?? She had a full tasting room, about 10 people, half of whom wanted to taste it (most of whom would have probably purchased it) and refused based on the fact they would not be open in the tasting room for the next several days. To save the cost of the leftovers of a single bottle of wine, she threw away the profit on at least 5 bottles. Actually more since there were more folks in there at the time. Everyone in the tasting room at the time thanked her for the tasting and walked away without buying a thing. Not the way to get that plan of a destination winery going!

The last winery was Glacier Peak Winery. Probably the loveliest setting of the 3 wineries, surrounded by mountain peaks and boasting a glorious view of Glacier Peak. The tasting room is a bit of a letdown visually and is nothing special in the way of decor, but is light and open. The person running the tasting room didn't have the personality of the other 2, but she was pleasant and knowledgeable. While we would not make that long a drive to this winery again, we did enjoy their Glacier Red wine made from Hungarian Agria grapes. It's a bit on the sweet side, but has a surprising hint of pepper to counteract the sweet. They sell it as a dessert wine and it will be good with sharp cheeses or rich dark chocolate sometime this winter. Definitely in front of the fireplace!

As we headed back down river, we realized that we had not visited the Apple Shed at Perkins Apple Orchard... on the same property as Eagle Haven Winery! Silly us! Yep, we stopped back there on the way down. Sue, one of the owners and the Grandma/matriarch of the family was manning the Apple Shed. She was adorable! She cut apple tastes for us from about 10 different varieties of apples. Yum! Some of the varietals of apples I'd never heard of, but enjoyed immensely. They also sell honey from hives on the property and apple cider. Walked out of there with 4 pounds of Jonagolds, 4 pounds of Arlets and a gallon of fresh cider - so fresh that it was pressed this morning.

After dropping my buddy off at her house, we headed for home and some quiet time. It's been a busy, but very fun weekend for us. A little time tonight of "man, movie and wine" will complete the weekend nicely, allowing me to return to work refreshed.

...may there be mercy and many weekends like this one.

lots o' stuff

2008-10-05T16:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, here comes the monster update on life, living, friends from all over the place, health, work and more boring stuff than one could imagine. But the summer blogging didn't happen and some have been asking me for updates. Here goes.

Work: Well, that's the interesting thing for us right now. My sweet husband is on strike. Has been for a month. Remember all the weekends he worked overtime during the summer? Yep, that was the strike fund so we would be prepared and could survive financially. Thus far, we have not had to touch the strike fund at all. Hallelujah! If things continue as is - with us living carefully - we think we will have to raid it around November 1st. Hopefully the strike doesn't last that long. I'd really rather use the strike fun to remodel the bathroom!

With the current economy, my work is so slow that we expect a layoff there. It will be interesting to see what happens. Will the board allow the layoff of the 2-3 lowest paid and least knowledgeable folks? If so a board member's daughter will be laid off. Will the accountant determine that we must lay off folks with higher salaries and more knowledge? If so, then I fall squarely in that range of possible people. We just do not know what will happen... but we have made plans for any "just in case" issues. I'm one of the extreme few in the office who is not afraid. Don't get me wrong, the tension is so big that no one is stress-free. It's just that we have worked out what to do if it is me, so we are okay.

Friends: It's been an amazing summer of time with friends from all over the country. Scoot was here from Alabama and we spent a glorious day with Carrie in Seattle. One of those spectacular Seattle summer days with great weather, lots of laughter and an incredible lunch where we were treated like royalty. Then, 2 weeks later, Melissa from Florida and SuziQOregon surprised me... as y'all read about earlier in my blog about rockin' friends. Still can hardly believe they pulled it off and how lovely it is to have friends who will do something that outrageous - just for me. Love you guys!

Another 2 weeks and sweet Karen from Mississippi came to visit with her nice husband. It was such a fun weekend showing them the areas we enjoy, talking, laughing, eating way too much and getting a big kick out of their enjoyment of our very contemporary church that is so very different than their more traditional churches in the South. Hearing sweet Karen's glorious voice raised in song during church is one of my precious memories of the summer.

Another 3 weeks and we head down to Portland for an impromptu party to celebrate my friend Terry's 50th birthday. It was tons of fun, mostly because Terry is like my brother and we always egg one another on until one of us laughs so hard tears run down the face.

My friend Jenna got married in August in one of the most beautiful ceremonies I've seen. Over lunch - or was it breakfast - early in her engagement I gave her a bit of advise. Ensure that the last couple days before the wedding are errand and duty free so that you can be a very relaxed bride, prepared for your celebration both public and private. I was proud to see how she took that advise to heart and how it impacted her day. She was a joyful, relaxed and stress-free (not to mention stunningly gorgeous) bride. The ceremony and reception were filled with meaning and family and joy. It was my great honor to be celebrating with them!

Family: my dumb-ass brother is back on drugs and living on the street with the "will work for food" sign, where he makes almost $300.00 per day so he can buy his damn drugs. I'm angry at him and totally heartbroken at how he has thrown away his life, once again. When he gets arrested, and he will, he will then have to face up the the California 3 strikes law... and spend the rest of his life in prison. My family is so torn up by him, again. People keep calling Mama to tell her they have seen him. I'm angry with them, too. The first time someone calls is bad enough, although I could excuse it because the motivation could very well be letting Mama know that he is alive. But the 6th time the same person calls - within a month's time - just speaks to the fact that the person can't get enough of humiliating Mama. Heartbreaking all around.

Health: My sweet husband is being treated for a terrible case of varicose veins. Bad enough that the doc is trying a bunch of different treatments, but expects to have to do surgery anyway. Gotta go through the gyrations for the insurance company. Not life threatening, thankfully, but painful and a pain in the butt for him nonetheless.

I've been diagnosed with genetically induced high blood pressure. Thanks to both Mama and Bud, my birth father. Yep, I called them both to thank them for sharing. We were all surprised that it hit me so early, but taking a single pill each day is far better than having a stroke, eh? Besides, if I had a stroke, I probably couldn't quilt! Due to the high blood pressure, I've finally gotten serious about exercise and am walking 3 miles each morning before work. It's been good for me to do this. Between the meds, walking, eating better and losing a few pounds, I'm feeling better than I have in years. Yay!

Quilting: Not a lot has happened for a while. I'm stuck. It's the dang ugly-ass quilt (UAQ) that I'm making for my sister-in-law. I made the mistake of letting her pick the fabrics... and they do not go together at all. In fact, the ones that do go together end up looking muddy and boring, then add in the other fabrics that do not coordinate and you get the UAQ. I made myself get to a point on it and I'm stuck. I do not want to work on the UAQ, but I won't let myself work on anything else until it's done. Including Christmas gifts, which will need to be sent out in about 60 days. Yikes!!! I may have to put the UAQ aside until after Christmas and get it done in time for her birthday in March. We shall see.

Life: in spite of all the oddities and stressors above, we are happy and doing well. Yay! Our needs are met and we are spending time with one another, enjoying conversation and all the other good stuff.

And now my dinner is almost done, so I will go pull it out of the oven, pour a lovely glass of wine for us and do some of that enjoying with my sweet husband. It's good.

...may there be mercy and continued recognition of the good, in spite of any stress.

ping

2008-09-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

Just a ping to note that I'm still here, just been crazy busy.

Really need to do a monster sized blog about my friends coming to visit from Mississippi, health issues, life, the ugly-ass quilt I'm making for my sister-in-law and other oddities of life.

Soon. But today I have to meet my friend for lunch and hear all about her life as a newlywed!

...may there be mercy and some time for rest soon.

rockin' friends

2008-08-26T19:34:00.000-07:00

So... a couple months ago, my dear friend SuziQOregon emailed me to discuss the possibility of a Girls Weekend. Her husband is a runner who does the Hood To Coast Relay. Her thinking is that since she's done the supportive wife thing already, why don't we have fun instead. I'm totally on board with this plan! My sweet husband will probably have to work anyway. We set our plans for her to come up here and both got excited about having the time together.

In the interim time, I'm on the phone with our mutual friend, Mel, who lives in Florida. During the course of the conversation, I learn that Mel has some flyer miles that need to be used before October. I encourage Mel to check her calendar to see if it would work for her to come here during the Girls Weekend. Let's surprise SuziQOregon! Mel checks her calendar, only to discover that she had already lined up a business trip for that weekend. Dang!

SuziQOregon and I continue to anticipate a fun and yet relaxing weekend. I find a cool bottle of wine for her. That's the thing we do. Most times when we see one another, we give a gift of wine. Some very fun bottles have been exchanged!

Finally, Saturday morning arrives and I'm at the restaurant, impatiently waiting for her to arrive. I'm distracted by the fact I've agreed to loan some stadium chairs to a co-worker who is picking them up from me at that same time. SuziQ walks in as my co-worker is leaving. Big squeals and hugs! She says, "I'm sorry I didn't bring you a bottle of wine today, but I thought you'd like this better." She steps aside.

Standing behind her is Mel from Florida!!!

More squeals and hugs and I am rendered completely speechless! (y'all know how hard that is do to to me!) I'm overwhelmed and tearful and amazed that they pulled off this absolute surprise for me. Apparently they had been planning it from before the time SuziQ emailed me in the first place. Totally cool!

SuziQ and Mel have been listening to my heart. They have heard about the loss of a long term relationship and have helped me in my grief over that loss. They have listened and encouraged me during the stress-filled moments of this year. To be completely honest, they have done so for longer than that. They put their love and friendship into a practical application of a joyful time together.

I'm still overwhelmed at how fantastic the weekend was for us. We have these great memories of our time... even if we never made it to the Casino or Applebee's. But we did see the Muffin Man, so it's all good.

...may there be mercy and blessings poured out on my precious, rockin' friends.

little old folk

2008-08-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

Bob... he's 85 and walks faster than I do. (my pace is 3.5 - 4 miles per hour) He's been Mall Walking every day for 15 years. He's the encourager of the morning crew. Walks with everyone, matching his pace to theirs. Getting folks to move while he finds out their stories and loves them.

Jack... he's 90 and walks slower than most anybody. But he walks... leaned over, slow as the turtle and greeting everyone with a smile. His handshake is still firm and pleasing.

Dale... he's old and crabby, the stereotypical "grouchy old man". When I asked him how he was the other day, he told me "I always hurt when I walk". It obviously makes him mad, but he does it anyway. Brutally honest, but persevering in spite of cancer. He teased me today and I thought that a wonderful thing.

Arlo... he's a flirt! "Good morning, pretty ladies" is his byline. To us, in our late 40's or to the other ladies who are well into their 60's and 70's. But when you talk to him, he always mentions his beloved wife, who passed 10 years ago. And there is always a tear because he loves her still.

George... he walks with a cane and his carriage is still erect, more so than most. He forgets a lot, but not to come to the mall and walk. The other little old men look after him and make sure he is okay.

Dee... she's mid-50's and walks fast! She told me that she used to walk at the mall years and years ago, and that the same little old men were walking back then. It's cool to hear that.

Mila... she's a professional woman, 60's, who walks at a good clip and seems a no-nonsense person. Yet, she's got a frivolous side because she revealed her vanity when she told me she wished her hair would do like mine does when it looks nice curly or straight.

Rosemary and Zach... in their 70's, they walk together. I think they are married, but I'm not sure. She is a painter whose projects I've seen exhibited. Beautiful! He has lost his voicebox and speaks with the aid of technology. Their smiles are joyful.

Mr. "T"... can't really name him because he is my boss's dad. He walks like a bulldog, and can't quite figure out how I know who he is (or how I know when his birthday was!), but he moves along at a great clip in spite of injuries to his leg from an infected spider bite.

Mrs. "T" and the girls... she's my boss's mom and walks with 2 clients of mine. They chatter and laugh and keep themselves fit in their late 60's, early 70's. It's glorious to see their smiles and hear their laughter!

There are others who walk in the mornings at the mall and are only faces yet. But... they are faces that I know and care about already. They look for us in the mornings. They ask about either of us if we are missing. They care.

...may there be mercy and joy in the presence of those who are older.

it ended!

2008-08-19T18:14:00.001-07:00

After 4 weeks, the neverending garage sale has finally ended. As I drove home this evening, I watched them put the last item on a truck. The yard is cleaned up.

Really too bad there wasn't anything interesting enough to stop and see what all the hullaballooo was about.

Also really too bad that they didn't sell more stuff because that truck was loaded to the gills.

...may there be mercy if they are moving and nice new neighbors.

neverending garage sale

2008-08-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

About 3 weeks ago, some neighbors put what seemed like everything they own out in the yard for a garage sale. As I passed by that weekend, many things left and the amount of items lessened.

And then it started.

More things came outside and were placed into the yard. A few things were gone that night. For about 10 days, more items appeared each day, with just a few things leaving. Then... another 10 days when nothing new came out, but each day a few things were gone.

Today, a boatload more items came into the yard!

Yep, neverending garage sale is here! I watch it with interest because the things that look like they might actually be useful are still there, 3 weeks later, but the things that I consider garbage are gone within what seems like moments.

Trash or treasure, it's all about perspective.

...may there be mercy and a good sale (with a cleaned up yard soon!) for my neighbors.

tough day

2008-08-11T20:47:00.001-07:00

We lost another friend and co-worker today, the second one in about 8 week's time.

Dwight lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. His wife said that it was a peaceful passing.

We will miss this lovely man.

...may there be mercy in mourning and comfort for his family.

baby steps

2008-08-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

This whole making better choices thing can be really hard to do. It's just so dang easy to grab anything that is convenient to eat or to decide I'm too tired to get up and exercise.

But... the good news is that I am doing it!

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely enjoying myself some days with extra treats. But did you notice that it's "some days" and not all day, every day? Yep, that is some huge progress for me. Especially the part where I am deliberately choosing to have a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar when I want sweets!

I'm also getting up at 5 a.m. every work day in order to get awake enough (and coffee'd up enough!) to meet a coworker at the mall for a 2.5 mile walk. Yep, I'm officially one of the "Little Old Lady Mall Walkers" now. I find it hilarious and am enjoying the time.

One thing that I've decided in all this... for the moment, until I get myself back to a healthier normal, I'm not worrying about my weight. Now that does not mean I'm eating myself into oblivion. Instead, I'm making far more healthy food choices, but not worrying about the scale or following my Weight Watchers plan.

More important for me to concentrate on the input of healthy foods, getting my exercise and ensuring my sleep. This body has not been cooperative lately and I do not like that at all!!

One thing at a time and baby steps. Once I'm back into a healthier mindset on what I am doing for intake, rest and exercise... then I'll take the next step and start journaling food again... and adding portion control back in, along with figuring out exactly how people really do stop eating when their bodies are full.

...may there be mercy in the baby steps.

day 3

2008-07-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

It's day 3 of the planned taking better care of myself. Days 1 & 2 were not too difficult. The hardest part is for me to avoid sugar...

...and today it's hitting a little harder with the sugar cravings.

Sleep has been a terrible problem. Had to resort to a couple nights of sleeping pills to get myself rested and refreshed enough to be able to think and function at all. Today is much better for functioning.

Am making the decision to eat healthy foods, in spite of what I want!

... may there be mercy in a return to healthy choices.

rested and refreshed

2008-07-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

Yep, we are home from our travels and feeling quite rested and refreshed. Tomorrow will bring us back to the confines of reality. But I don't care. It's been a great time off for us!

...may there be mercy as we return to our normal jobs.

now!

2008-07-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh! Vacation time has finally arrived.

That packing thing is just about done and I'm just about done in for the night. We have a couple little things to do, then it's wind down and get to sleep. We're heading out early.

Back in a week with the Days of Wine and Railways report.

...may there be mercy and rest as we get away.

soon...

2008-06-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

24 working hours until vacation! Not that I'm counting or anything! ;-p

This is a link to part of the fun things we will be doing on our trip: http://www.alberniheritage.com/

Yep, gotta please the train guy!

And of course, there will be winery visits. This is one: http://www.cherrypointvineyards.com/

It looks cool to me because it is one of a very few in the world that is aboriginal owned and operated.

I'm ready now! Well, except for that packing thing. Soon.

...may there be mercy and joy in our time off together.

sick

2008-06-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

Ugh!

Crappy, cruddy, we haven't gotten warm enough to really get summer bronchitis-y type virus has hit me - and hard. Today is the first day since Wednesday that I think I might actually live.

...may there be mercy and warm enough weather to bake this out of me...

time to play

2008-06-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

Saturday... I love Saturdays, especially when we can have Sleep In Day and the promise of some fun together. Since my sweet husband has this weekend off, this is one of those lovely Saturdays.

Yay!

...may there be mercy and joy in our day.

home...

2008-06-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

Home...and so very glad to be here. I’ve missed of my quiet little life and my quiet little home and my sweet husband.

The trip was both good and very difficult. I was so far outside of my comfort zone this trip.

Home...where we have structure and our routine instead of chaos. I’ve missed the normalcy of our life where the day’s activities and mealtimes are mostly planned.

The days there are completely unstructured. Everyone goes to bed and gets up when they want to, even the smaller grandchildren...who may stay up until 2 a.m. playing computer games even when the adults go to bed around 10 p.m. Whatever happens is fine. No planning of any part of the day, whatsoever. Breakfast is anytime from 10 a.m. to noon. Dinner is sometime between 4 p.m. and 10 p.m. - whenever everyone gets hungry enough and my stepmother is ready to fix it. No midday meal, just potato chips and candy available for whenever anyone wants a snack. The biggest events of the day are letting the dogs out to run the property and watering the gardens...whenever they decide to do it.

Home...where even when our home is messy, it is just a simple mess and clutter. I’ve missed feeling clean.

I admit to being a lazy housekeeper at times and a messy person, but I’ve never seen anything like this before. The only word to describe it is squaller. Outside, there are at least a dozen junk cars on the property. Some are just rusting hulks with parts already gleaned from them, some are waiting for dissection. There are 2 buildings that are each equal size to the house - each used for storage of unknown stuff, completely full. Inside the house are pathways to chairs, kitchen, bedrooms, between the bed and the door, etc. No open space at all...mostly I think due to a hoarder mentality. With the exception of the dishes, nothing inside the house has been cleaned since I was there 4 years ago. There are items on shelves that have not been moved in those 4 years, with the accumulated dust and filth of those years showing. The entire house smells of urine since one of the toilets overflows daily. They bathe once a week, brush their teeth twice a week and change clothes about every 4 days. In New Mexico the temperature is about 85 this time of year...and everything there pretty much stinks.

Home...where we have actual quiet and calm. I’ve missed the simplicity of quiet.

I like a good TV show or movie and will usually play my music pretty loudly. There are 5 TV’s at my birth father’s home. All of them are on, 24/7...and loud! There are 7 living grandchildren, any or all of whom are on site at any given time. Everyone is clamoring to be heard over the noise of the TV’s or the other people.

Home...where we have actual conversations with one another instead of thinking out what stories we will tell while the other person is talking. I’ve missed the give and take of a real conversation.

My sweet husband and I sometimes argue that the other person is not listening...but it’s not completely true. We hear one another and respond to the conversation or “spirited discussion” appropriately. There, everyone is so busy thinking up the next story to tell or what they want to say that nobody ever asks a thing about anyone else. It was a time of being talked “at” instead of talked “with”. One would think that a birth family would want to get to know a person...what they think, like, want, do, etc. Apparently it was more important to ignore what I was saying about my life (when I could say anything at all) and tell me more about the things they have done.

Home...where we have openness coupled with caring instead of undercurrents of fear, concern and hostility. I’m so grateful that my sweet husband and I discuss the things in life that make us concerned for one another - whether health, work or just daily things.

My birth father is 82 and starting to fail, but nobody will talk about it. I could see the concern, but it was very obvious that it was not open for discussion even if I had not been there. My sister is just beginning to allow herself to grieve the loss of her 17 year old son who died in November. No one will talk about it with her. Instead, they watch her with deep concern, but will not even ask her how she is doing. I did...and discovered that she is in a self-destructive mode. I am so glad I asked, because we were able to talk through some of her grief and how to get her some help so that she gets out of the self-destructive mode. She will never truly get over the loss of her son, I understand that part, but she needs to be able to cope and move out of self-destruct mode.

Home...where making up after an argument is sweet without requiring a trip to the ER and another argument is waiting on your return.

My sister’s oldest son spent much time with his dad after the divorce. Sadly, he was told many things about his mother that were not true. There is bitterness, resentment, and a large lack of respect. The night before I arrived, they got into a fight and he threw a kitchen chair at her...causing a bruised heel-bone and the need for crutches for the next several weeks or months. Another night while I was there, they got into a yelling fight just after I went to bed. The only way I could cope with their fight was to turn on the fan, put my pillow over my ears and whisper to myself, “shut up, shut up, shut up!” I worry about them both.

Home...where I am loved. I didn’t miss out on being loved.

In spite of all the stuff I’ve written, they love me and are not afraid to show it. There was a little planning to show me the areas they tell me about - where they hunt elk for meat, where they camp, where they log trees for firewood - going 4-wheeling in those areas, and also a massive family BBQ where we laughed and teased one another. Even me, as if I’d lived there always. I wish this post didn’t sound so judgmental. I love them and am glad I went. The contrast between our lives is just so harsh.

Home...

...may there be mercy as I process all the emotions of this trip.

new mexico

2008-05-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Am posting on my last day here. It's been a good visit, but one filled with a ton of conflicting emotions. A bit of overload. Will be glad to be home with my sweet husband tomorrow. I've missed him!!

More on this trip to see my birth father soon... when I'm not posting from my phone!

...may there be mercy as I process and as I travel.

catching up

2008-05-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Wow... been a while, eh?

Got a nasty bout with bronchitis... followed by a relapse of bronchitis... compounded with a couple family emergencies... and topped with a lovely trip to the ER since I am the Queen of Klutz.

Big sigh.

Yep, I'm on crutches, with a brace on my leg from upper thigh to almost my ankle. It's simply lovely and just the accessory a shoe maven would want for the summer. Thankfully I think I'll only have it for another week.

Oh, you want to know why, don't you?

You know me. You know I'm a Klutz! How about the good story or stories that I've come up with instead??

1. Got into a bar fight.
2. Took on a motorcycle gang.
3. Joined the Roller Derby (this is my personal favorite, and the most believable since there really is roller derby nearby.)

Oh, you don't believe these and are laughing at me.

Real story... BORING!!!... is that I didn't realize the vacuum cord was around my ankle and took a step...

Timmmmmmmmm-berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Yep, like a tree in the forest, down I went. All 5 foot 9 inches of me... full weight... on my right knee.

Did anyone hear the bad words where you live?? I'm sure they were loud enough.

So fast forward a bit through the ER visit and the follow up doc visit 6 days later. No broken bones. Not torn in bad ways. Hamburger for parts of the knee and swollen still to almost twice the normal size. (a full week later!!!) Equates to a horrific sprain that will take time to heal.

So... I'm traveling to Albuquerque tomorrow to see my birth father... with this huge brace and crutches. Should be fun, eh?

...may there be mercy as I travel and fast healing.

bronchial blues

2008-04-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Have been sick all week with bronchitis. Ugh!

...may there be mercy and a quick end to coughing.

3BT spring

2008-03-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

Just need to take a moment and find some beauty...

1. matching up fabric triangles for a quilt. It's for my sister-in-law and I let her pick the fabrics. I would not have picked them to go together, but the colors are pleasing nonetheless.
2. having a brand new radiant heater under my desk at work. It sends a little warm glow over me and I feel better.
3. hearing Mama's voice today.

...may there be mercy and moments to find beauty.

quilt of love and hate

2008-03-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

It's National Quilting Day and yes, I'm spending today quilting away. This quilt is for my friend, coworker and the Official Office Big Brother, James... who has inoperable, terminal liver cancer.

Last year I made 5 quilts for friends with cancer. As I sewed, I prayed for each of them. For healing, for comfort, for the awareness of how much each of them is loved, for strength in the treatment process, for peace.

And for a year not filled with making quilts for friends with cancer.

Thus far, each of them is kicking cancer's ass... even Dwight, who has pancreatic cancer and we know that he probably won't see Christmas. But he wasn't supposed to see last Christmas, so the fact that he is still with us, fighting with all he has, means he is kicking cancer's ass.

But James... sweet, loving, caring, generous, big-brother James... his health has been so bad for so long that he doesn't have that much left in him to be able to fight as hard. Bless him, he hasn't given up yet, but his ability to fight as hard as others might... well, it just isn't there.

So I'm working quickly on this quilt. For many reasons, I love this quilt. For other reasons, I hate it.

I love it because the fabrics are rich and lush, yet simple in the designs. They speak to me of James. Civil war reproduction prints that are beautiful. I hate it because James is so much a part of my life and he is being taken away from me.

Love it because it's tested my ability to allow imperfections without fretting about them. Love isn't perfect, and it's about letting people be imperfect. Hate it because James won't be able to enjoy it for very long.

Love it because the quilting in the border is symbolic of hugs and kisses and the hope that he feels wrapped in love when he uses it. Hate it because I so hate cancer for the suffering and pain it causes.

As I stitch, sometimes the tears block my vision so badly that I can't tell what I'm doing.

Enough rambling... I need to dry my eyes and put the binding on this quilt of love and hate.

...may there be mercy in the sorrow and joy in our time left with James.

normal life

2008-03-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

So... ummm... yeah, it's been a while.

A lot has been happening and yet, nothing more than normal life.

At the same time, normal life is a wonderful thing.

Here's an overview of stuff. If you are interested in more detail on any of these things or anything else... email, call or sit down over coffee with me. Y'all know I love to talk. Besides, it will give me a chance to catch up on you - which is more important to me anyway!

• Health: Neck is doing better after a series of trigger point injections and some really good physical therapy. Yep, that's injections, plural. Lots of needles (with medicine in them!) stuck into my neck, shoulder and upper back. During the sticking... a bit on the "OWIE" side. Within a couple minutes, waaaaaay less pain and I'm liking that! The best news is that so far this year I've not gotten the terrible congestion-type crud that has been making the rounds at my office.
• Work: mostly equates to same stuff, new day. Nothing terrible, nothing wonderful... but that's actually kinda cool right now. At the same time, we are really hoping for it to get busier soon.
• Family in San Diego: Mama and sisters are fine. Big brother continues to do well in spite of the toll his illness took on his body. Next brother is holding on, but barely. His life is horrible right now, but he is chosing to stay where he is in order to have a positive influence on his young son, age 6. I bless him for this choice... and worry about him for it at the same time. Last brother has deliberately chosen to go back into the drug culture and is using again. I'm really, really pissed off at him. Long story. Since it was a deliberate choice, I'm pissed.
• Precious Father-in-law is doing well for an 85 year old man. We spent the evening with him recently and just enjoyed our time so much. He makes me laugh!
• Sweet husband is delightful. He bought me a new ring to celebrate our 20th anniversary... and it's stunning. We put the diamond from my original engagement ring into it. He was so cute and had such a sweet grin on his face when he slipped this new ring on my finger. Gosh, but I love that man.
• The timechange will take a few days for us to acclimate. I've never done well with the spring loss of an hour. Takes me longer than most folks to get over that exhausted feeling of getting up earler.

And... thanks to that timechange issue, I'm exhausted and going to stop rambling for tonight.

...may there be mercy in our normal life issues...

another check in

2008-02-29T21:04:00.000-08:00

Been a little overbooked with schedule lately. Lots of chaos with family stuff. Got a couple emails checking in to see if I am okay.

I'm okay!

Will make a stab at a real blog post over the weekend.

...may there be mercy in the chaos...

checking in

2008-02-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

Waving and letting y'all know I'm still kicking! Just busy and a little on the overloaded side. Nothing that will kill me, just juggling a little too much... and trying to throw back some of the balls being juggled!

...may there be mercy as I find a better balance.

one for me

2008-02-03T18:38:00.001-08:00

According to my sweet husband, I've made quilts for everyone in this solar system and then some... and it's about time that I made one for myself.

He's cute, but he tends to exaggerate a bit.

In spite of his exaggerations, he's right in that I've made a lot of things for other people. I've only made things for myself if it was for a particular class in order to learn a particular technique. I had not taken the same amount of time and care and love to plan a quilt for myself.

This afternoon, I finished the first quilt simply made with careful planning, designing and love for ME. It's wonderful and makes me smile.

The fabrics were mostly gifts, with a couple that I found to add into the mix. The black and white theme is what I'm changing my house to be... all black and white with my quilts, my husband's trains and our photographs to add color.

In this black and white quilt, there is a bit of purple sprinkled in. The purple speaks to me in many ways. The biggest heartspeak is because it was a gift from a dear friend.

When I wrap myself in this quilt, that purple reminds me that she sends big hugs to me... and that makes me happy.

...may there be mercy in the warmth of my quilt and my friends.

3BT, weekend of celebration

2008-01-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

1. sitting in front of the fireplace in our hotel room, late at night, sipping wine, laughing and talking with my sweet husband.
2. sitting in front of the fireplace in our hotel room, early morning, sipping coffee, looking at the water view, watching the gulls soar and hearing them calling.
3. holding hands, sharing hearts, twenty years, wow.

...may there be mercy in the beautiful things that make up our lives...

3BT... new year, new BT

2008-01-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

Well, my blessed friends, it's a new year. We are going away for the weekend to celebrate that lovely thing of being married for 20 years.

My sweet husband deserves a medal or more for putting up with me for that long, but that's a whole 'nuther story that will never be told in this venue!

Tonight will be a quickie 3 Beautiful Things night and then we are gone.

1. my co-worker's 2 year old niece trying to say "see ya later" and how adorable it sounded as more of a "waiter, waiter" than anything else... and the fabulous grin that accompanied those sweet sounds. ( I really wanted to ask for coffee or dessert or french fries when she kept saying "waiter"!)
2. the way cool email from the hotel concierge when I told her that we are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary at her hotel and that we prefer wine to champagne... and how she totally JUMPED at providing wine instead for us. Not to mention the lovely congratulatory thoughts she expressed to us.
3. the hug from my favorite grocery clerk today when I gave her a rice bag I'd made. One of those simple, little things that take less than 5 minutes to make, but help much when the body is hurting. She injured her hip a few months back and has been limping... but she's been worried more about my neck pain than her own. That hug was so incredibly sweet.

...may there be mercy and we find beautiful things each day.

20 years

2008-01-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow marks a special day for us... my sweet husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Wow!

It's actually pretty dang cool since at the time of our 10th anniversary we were so close to divorce that we never thought we'd make the 10 year and one day mark. God worked miracles and healing in both our hearts.

Tomorrow we will have a simple evening together. Probably go out to Johnny Carrino's, maybe stay home... we haven't decided yet. The bigger celebration will be in our going away for the weekend.

Nice man has planned a romantic getaway for us at a hotel. Wine tasting in the lobby. Fireplace in the room. Champagne and hand made chocolates. Dinner at a nice restaurant. Time together... blessed time together.

...may there be mercy as we celebrate and many more years together.

happy new year!

2007-12-31T17:14:00.000-08:00

May 2008 be filled with little blessings and small joys. Those lovely little things that add sparkle to normal and "boring" days.

...may there be mercy as we look forward to the new year.

merry christmas to all

2007-12-25T09:35:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

May you find something today that feeds your soul and refreshes your spirit.

...may there be mercy as we find joy in the true meaning of Christmas.

time to rest

2007-12-22T20:40:00.001-08:00

Interesting that I'd say it's time to rest when everyone is gearing up for the last harried and hectic time of the holiday season. Stress abounds around me...

... and I'm on vacation!

Right now I could be totally stressed out about the fact that every single one of my family's Christmas gifts still sit in their respective bags. Unwrapped. In my not decorated for Christmas living room.

In Washington.

Not in San Diego where my they should sit, gaily wrapped, under Mama's Christmas tree.

I could be stressed out about that, but I'm not.

Another thing that could stress me out right now is that part about my not yet decorated for Christmas living room. But I'm not stressed about that either.

Have I moved into "Bah! Humbug!" land? Nope!
Have I shopped for the special meal items yet? Nope.
Have I shopped for my sweet husband's Christmas gift yet? Nope.
Have I planned anything special yet? Nope.

Normally this would make my blood pressure rise and my back hurt from the tension. Not this year.

Instead, I'm simply enjoying the Christmas Season vicariously. The herniated disc in my neck makes the actual physical doing of much of the stressful items simply impossible. So I'm enjoying the decorations in the places I go. I'm enjoying watching others do all the stressful things. I'm spending the time resting and enjoying being with my sweet husband.

Yep, we're on vacation together!

Originally we had planned to go away for the entire week. Something about the fact that my precious father-in-law is now 85 is holding us back. We want to spend time with him. We know each day that we have with him is a gift. We're taking time to enjoy each day's gift of him.

So instead of stressing, I'm focused on family and rest... and loving that those are wonderful gifts this Christmas.

...may there be mercy in our non-stressful celebrations.

checking in

2007-12-14T19:50:00.000-08:00

Just a quick check in so folks don't fret because if I go too long without a post I get emails! Love you guys!

Health: herniated disc in neck... big, major OWIE! To quote my sweet 85 year old father-in-law, it hurts like dammit! You know it's bad if I don't want to even attempt to quilt... and I don't. Had an MRI on Wednesday. Should have gotten results today, but doctor had a family emergency. Will get results next week.

Family: still need to finish writing up my travel log from San Diego, but everyone is okay. Sweet husband and I are looking forward to a week of vacation together over Christmas week!

Work: greatest Board of Directors! Gave us a generous bonus in spite of the fact we are at 1/3 the profits of last year. A lovely vote of confidence for the employees and a wonderful morale booster.

Holidays: yep, they are there! I've got a lot to say about the holidays and the "I got" syndrome. Later post will cover it.

...may there be mercy as we plow through "normal" during the busy-ness of December.

back to routine

2007-12-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

While I'm not completely "rested" right now, I am ready to face going back to work because wow... what a trip and vacation I had! Definitely soaked up Mama and my family and am so very glad that I got to go. At the same time, I so very much missed this man in my house! It's good to be home with him, getting back into my normal routine of daily life. Will try to give some highlights of the simple moments that always make for great memories tonight.

...may there be mercy in the normal routine and joy in the memory of family.

family

2007-11-29T13:26:00.000-08:00

Family... wow, the changes and the stuff that is still the same.

Mama. She's an ever constant. At the same time, she's getting older and it shows. I see such changes this visit that tell me those things we don't want to face. Oh her health is still good, surprisingly good for a woman just a few days away from 75. At the same time, visually she looks a lot older this trip. I notice that she has a bit of difficulty walking... the old "hitch in my git-along". Doctor tells her it is probably a pinched nerve and may be there for the rest of her life. She says it just will not be. I notice also that she is a little more forgetful, but that it's not an overly bad amount. She doesn't get confused, her mind is still sharp... thank God.

While I don't like to see her getting older, and when she does go it will rip a portion of my heart out... her aging process is actually normal and I am okay with that.

Big Brother. Wow... now this is the biggest change and the hardest for me to see. He's always been physically the strong one of the family. His body's betrayal in how it has changed makes me fight to hide tears from him. Thank heaven I have some good acting skills here. He has trouble turning his neck, his right arm won't lift past chest height, he walks with some difficulty - especially when tired. And he tires easily, actually taking a nap right now, mid-afternoon on his day off. In spite of it all, he fights hard and last week finally got cleared to go back to work. When he comes home, he is beyond exhausted. We used to have eating contests where we would make ourselves sick... and to see him eat only about 1/4 of what he normally eats (without a contest) is striking. Big brother is only 3 weeks older than my sweet husband... but now looks like he could be my husband's father. It's hard for me to see him this way, but at the same time, I am so very grateful to see him at all.

Brother #2. Haven't seen him yet because he lives in Los Angeles. He will be down tomorrow. Talked to him on the phone... he sounds the same as always and that makes me smile.

Brother #3. Our King of Drama. Yep, some things never change. He is still full of drama and a terrible con man. But his eyes are clear and he is drug free. That's really all I care about.

Little Sister. She turns 45 today. Her body has changed so much since her gastric bypass surgery. Of course the loss of 160 pounds will show dramatic changes on anyone, eh? The changes that concern me for her are the ones of the heart and spirit. Her last husband (divorce was final on 11/5) managed to kill any confidence she had. She gives the public appearance of confidence, but I see where it's an act. growing up in the same bedroom and having all those connections of being sisters will let me see what many will not. But... she is overwhelmed and thrilled with the quilt that I made for her. And we are talking much more than we have in the last 2 years since her now ex-husband is out of the picture.

Those are the difficult changes I see in my family. At the same time, we have been having a blast laughing and talking every moment I have been here. So much is good about this trip. But that is for another post. Mama is waking up from her nap and I am going to go soak up more of her.

...may there be mercy in the soaking up.

family time

2007-11-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

Wow... many changes have happened here. Some great, some harder to accept.

Like big brother's health and what his body allows now. More on that later, it's late.

Soaking up time with Mama.

...may there be mercy as we love up on one another here.

seeing family

2007-11-26T19:11:00.000-08:00

I can hardly believe it's been 2 years since I've seen Mama and my family. Way too long!

Tomorrow I head down to San Diego to celebrate Mama's 75th birthday and my sister's 45th birthday. I can hardly wait for that first Mama hug!

If possible, I'll post a bit. If not, see y'all next week after I return.

...may there be mercy as I travel and love up on my family in person.